Ron just called me & told me the company that he sent John’s resume to hired someone else. They wanted their own guy. Ron is really disappointed & was all kind of apologetic. I told him I was starting to suspect John wasn’t going to get the job because it was taking too long. Ron is a really great guy & I love him for trying for us.
I’m really having a tough time with this situation. I knew when we talked about him taking that job in Annapolis that it was a mistake but I didn’t voice it. I told him that I would support his decision & I did. I should have spoken up & told him my true feelings on the situation. We would have been better off—at least he would be collecting unemployment. Could’a; should’a; would’a.
I’m really struggling. I know that this means that God has something better planned but HE needs to get off the pot already. I am really starting to be depressed. I’m struggling with not eating my depression. I want to binge so bad. I am determined to not have that happen but it’s literally a minute by minute conversation in my head lately.
I talked to John about it yesterday. Unfortunately all it did was upset him, too. He thought I was doing okay with this. I am not. I really, really am not. I’m angry. I’m resentful. I am regretful. I hate where I am right now.