I'm conflicted. Mostly for financial reasons. John is going to collect unemployment but it's not enough for us to live the way we have been & I'm having a really hard time justifying the expense (even though I have put it aside). I keep thinking that I can use that money to buy other things or pay for a visit to Cape Cod--remember we stay for free.
I'm not crazy about the program as a whole. The other day I was thinking about staying on because of the support of the network but even that isn't really what I want/need. The women that are there all have significant emotional issues compared to mine...Lack of spousal/familial support. I have that. I don't need a bunch of strangers telling me that I am doing well. I know that I am.
And then...to be perfectly honest...Krista completely pissed me off yesterday. I had the audacity to wonder about the end on the forum:
I'm starting to think about The End. I'm wondering, "What next?" I think I'll be at my goal by January 15th. That leaves 2 weeks of wrapping up for maintenance. So, if I decided to stay on as an Alum, will I be doing the same "beginner" lessons or will there be something different for me (us?). I think I'll need the guidance to get maintenance under control. I'm getting good at fat loss. I've been doing it long enough. Snort But what about maintenance? I know I'm not so good at that...Weight regain of 20 lbs last year is evidence of that. I'm going to need help learning to keep it off.
I know we'll get more info in the future but these are the thoughts that are starting to hit.
One thing that is going through my head that I'm absolutely thrilled about is that we are going through Thanksgiving & Christmas with this program. I think that's going to go a long way to helping us learn how to keep it off during the holidays.
The response from Krista:
Don't "wonder and worry" about the future. Stay focused on what you are DOING, RIGHT NOW.
Did I say I was worried? WTF? These are the types of responses I get from her whenever I post any wondering questions...Um, isn't it human nature to wonder? To be curious?
I don't have the "I don't know why I eat the way I do issues," that 98% of these women have. I know why I eat. I'm pretty self-aware. In fact, last night I was so pissed off that I went out & bought ice cream. Why? Because I'd show them I don't need them telling me how to eat. Eh. Whatever.
I know it's about compliance & I know I can do it with the program I got from Wendy last year or with the program I got from Cathy Savage or from Leigh Peele. I just need to stop over-eating.
I was thinking about sticking it out to get those last 2 workouts & to see if I even made it into the Top 20 for the BIG PRIZE MONEY. I have decided that the prize money isn't an issue. Also, because I won't be compliant with the BCAA habit that is now required (& I won't lie about it), I know it's not going to happen. lol I do admit that I have learned some great eating strategies but I'm not sure I'm willing to stick it out at this point. I'm conflicted.
But those workouts...I wanted those. I really like them. Then I realized that I have access to the members' only stuff & have already downloaded all of that. I have a ton of really well-planned workouts from multiple sources. As much as I would like them (hint, hint, Sandi, would you be willing to share?) I don't think I'm going to pay the $200/month for them.
I don't know...I'm sooo conflicted. John has said I should stick it out but I'm just not feeling it.
On a different topic--do you have problems with your clothes getting stinky or are you able to wash them immediately after wearing them? I am going to have to buy all new sports bras & tanks. My stuff is starting to get really ripe. I was using Fabreeze as fabric softener but it's not working anymore. I started using a sports laundry detergent but that's only making them smell flower-y & stinky. HELP!