I am doing pretty well on the "Wendy Plan," but I forget what she told me & when I go back & read...shit. I missed something or completely ignored it or some such shit.
For example she told me no mayo. Guess who has been using light mayo on her tuna??? Yeah, that would be me. She told me 3 weight workouts, 4 cardio. Guess who did 3 cardio, 4 weight workouts this week. Dumb ass!
Okay, not really. I made progress so I'm good but still...Next week should be better.
We had a celebration at work because the clinic did really well in the inspection. I didn't eat the hot dogs I wanted. I didn't eat the chocolate pudding cake someone brought. I didn't eat the potato salad.
I stayed on program. So there! I feel really good about it.
Something that happened that completely fucked with my day...
I was talking to our Group Commander & his wife...blah, blah, blah. One of the docs, Jason, walks over & starts talking to someone that is in close proximity to us. Mrs Yap (yes, that's really their name) asks me if the doctor is my husband. WTF??? He heard, we both laughed. No, no...blah, blah, blah. Okay so now I'm sure Col Yap & his wife think Jason & I are doing it. Fuck.
Yes, he is a friend of mine but no there is no attraction whatsoever. Yes, we were talking but I do not believe that there was any "body language" happening. Really.
Why did it fuck with my day? Because I think that if someone that I have never met sees something in the way Jason & I are around each other, then I need to not be around Jason. I've worked really hard to get my marriage back on track & am truly happy with where things are today. And this happens.
About 30 minutes later I was talking to my boss, her husband, & 2 other ladies. We were laughing about touching boobs. Jason came over & said something about me being his wife. I "explained" what had happened to make him say that. My boss said that Mrs Yap (Christ that kills me) must have seen something to make her ask that question.
I don't want anyone questioning where my heart is. Not now. We've worked too hard to get it right. And we are. I am happy for the first time in...EVER, I think.
But it also upsets me because Jason is my friend. When I'm frustrated at work I can talk to him. I can yell & pitch a hissy fit. He listens & then talks me off the ledge. And I appreciate that. But I know that if people think we're more than friends I need to back off for BOTH of us.
His wife is a very insecure person. She would kill me if she had heard that conversation. I know she would.
Now I know why she looks at me the way she does. I thought it was because she's a "big girl," and I'm not. Now I know.
Fuck.
Oh & Marie--interesting observation--almost every man I have been in meetings with this week has taken their wedding ring off & played with it. The first time I saw it, I thought of you. But it kept happening. I think it was nervous habit.
1 comment:
((Deb))
I think it's really weird that your boss said that, btw. It's a little too personal, and I would have felt personally affronted. Then again, I am not sure what the atmosphere of your office is like -- casual let-it-all-hang-out or more buttoned-up professional -- but to me, that steps over the line from being professional to overly intimate.
But at the same time I also think that you have to go with your gut on your feelings about your relationship with Jason. Rather than look at how other people perceive it, however, I'd go by how YOU feel: what if John has a similar relationship with someone of the opposite sex at his workplace? What would you think of that? How do you think he would feel if he was in the room while you were talking to Jason?
It's all interesting and provocative stuff, this workplace etiquette/relationship business. Since so many people spend most of their waking weekday hours at work, it's normal to build deep relationships with coworkers -- we're human and need to feel connection with others around us. But is it proper or healthy? (and maybe it *is* healthy but does that matter if it is not proper, if you're married?)
And ... if you want to do 4 weights and 4 cardios, that's OK too. Hehhehheh.
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