Sunday, October 7, 2007

bored out of my mind

I can't remember the last time I didn't have something that I NEEDED to do. Today is the first time I have been able to say that. I'm not sure I like it. I am thinking about joining a gym just so I have some place to go.

I haven't talked to John today. I haven't received an email from him. This is the first time since moving out that we haven't had some communication at all.

Both of my parents have at some point over the last few days have told me that they think I am happier than I have been in years. They've both described me as "brighter." I've been hiding it from them. I'm miserable. I'm lonely. I'm scared out of my fucking mind. I know I'm not ever going back to John. I miss Erin terribly even though I talk to her every day. I miss my dog. I miss my house. I miss my stuff.

(((Wendy))) At least I can drive over & get more stuff if I need/want it.

1 comment:

Wennndy said...

((Deb)) It's a tough, tough thing. You will make it through. My MO is to 1. just keep putting one foot in front of the other and 2. not take every little emotion very seriously. Who can keep track of all the ups and downs?


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