Tuesday, February 15, 2011

lack of self-discipline

That's me. I have gone completely bananas this week with food. I am
trying so hard to remind myself that it's not, "I can't" but "I can't
all at one time." And that's what I've been doing. All at one
time...Girl Scout cookies, donuts, bread, Brie & crackers, wine,
chocolate, hot dogs & ice cream. In 4 days I've had all I've not had
for the last 6 months. WTF? Serious PMS & a little stress. I've
alleviated the stress (will detail in a minute) & the PMS will go away I
just need to be more aware of what the hell is going on with my body.

I've copied & saved all of the lessons from the LE program. If anyone
is interested let me know & I'll send them to you. I'm sending them to
Wendy on disk & will be happy to do the same for you all, too. The only
thing I can't send is the video presentations which are in the member's
only forums & can't be saved. The videos aren't all that relevant to
the other lessons; they are pretty much stand alone.

The stress was due to John having a job offer. The position would have
paid okay & could have been decent BUT would have required him to work
nights. Have I told you all about this? Initially he would be working
on Willow Grove Naval Air Station about 60 miles from here. Without
traffic it's an hour & 15 minute ride. With traffic it could take
upwards of 2 hours because it just sits. The other thing is that they
want him to work 2 nights a week. John really wanted to take the job
but it just wasn't sitting right with me. I have so many regrets about
not telling John how I felt with the Annapolis job & I didn't want to
regret not telling him how I felt about this one...so I told him all of
my concerns yesterday & that I really wanted him to turn the job down.
He did. I think it is sort of a relief for him, too. Whatever.

Funny, TMI story...I forget to bring a towel or wash cloth or socks on a
regular basis. Today...panties. I'm sitting here commando! It's so
uncomfortable. Every time I cross my legs my pants seam goes right
between my labia. ACK!


Kim said...

I can totally relate to the "off the rails" eating. OMG!! What is wrong with us?!!?! I'm be interested in the LE lessons. Maybe they'd help me get out of this rut.

I'm glad you told John about your reservations re: the job and that he declined. I am a firm believer in trusting your intuition.

LOL about commando at work. Even though it wasn't intentional, it must've been to have a naughty little secret all day!! Hee hee!

Wennndy said...

I have a lot of thoughts about the out of control eating situation when you are no longer on a plan. A *lot* of thoughts. It's part of what I'm working on with my new program, but my thoughts aren't organized enough.

Basically, it has nothing to do with willpower, though. It has a lot more to do with physiology than we think, and also with the power of our thoughts (which is different than willpower). You have to change your thoughts and your priorities so that it's not about aesthetics. We've gotten away from that. And also, by breaking food into its components (proteins, carbs, fats, etc.) we've kinda messed up our relationship with it. Oh, I could go on and on. But I won't.

I go commando all the time. Hehehheh.

And a big round of applause about the job offer! Yay! Good for you for voicing your concerns. You had the concerns for a reason. muah!

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