Monday, June 14, 2010

thoughts on aging

Rose posted this as her facebook status this morning…

 

 “There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age. ” —Sophia Loren (1934-); actress

 

And she didn’t even know this post was already in the works! 

 

All this talk about aging must have triggered something in my brain.  This morning as I was getting out of the shower I suddenly realized that I am 46 years old!  FORTY-SIX! When did that happen?  It freaked me out to the point of near hyperventilation!  Seriously.  It was the strangest feeling!

 

The thing is don’t feel “that old.”  I don’t feel middle-aged.  Isn’t that what we are? 

 

This led me to begin thinking about my physical condition.  For a woman of our age I am not in bad shape.  I’m not bikini model but as I thought about my age this morning I began to wonder if I really want to look like a bikini model.  I currently weigh 154 lbs.  When I am standing up I have a little bit of a pooch but it isn’t horrible—In fact just had someone ask me if I’ve lost weight (um, nope).  I have love handles but nowhere near as bad as I used to; nor as bad as they could be.  I wear a size 8 in most of my pants (except those Lucky’s).  That’s pretty damn good; it’s smaller than I have been in a very long time.  I wore a size 10/12 for years.  I’m not completely dissatisfied with my physique but like all women wonder if I could do better. 

 

I am going to be doing some serious soul searching over the next couple of weeks about what my goal would be in going through the LEP.  The questions I’ll be mulling over will be:  If I do LEP what goals would I be setting?  Losing weight?  Why?  Do I really need to maintain the body of a figure model or bikini model?  What’s the point? I want to be completely sure why I’m spending $700.

 

A lot of stuff mulling around in my mind.  I’ll be posting more I’m sure.

 

 

4 comments:

marie said...

I am 42 but I have also had a few of those "WTF" moments when it comes to the age thing. I also occasionally experience real fear and panic over the prospect of dying. But, like everything else, it passes.

I like where you're going with this. I think so often in life we are driven by society goals which we've somehow absorbed and made our own even though they aren't necessarily productive/valuable for us.

I do think over time being in shape means more about health and less about vanity. For me, I am built like my mother, who now has severe osteoporosis and is slowing bending forward. She had a heart attack in her 60s. Most of her siblings didn't even get OUT of the 60s. On my dad's side, they have almost all had heart problems in their 30s and 40s. Granted, a lot of that may have been lifestyle, but I think there is a huge genetic predisposition at play.

Sorry, I didn't mean to make this about me, just wanted to raise another facet of the conversation to consider.

Plus, you know you love having a nice ass. :D

marie said...

PS: I saw the other post before you took it down and had two thoughts:

1. Nothing good could come from that, and

2. Do you think you were responsive just because you are so bored at work and need a distraction?

Deb said...

Marie I don't think you made your comment all about you. I really appreciate your thoughts. Fortunately I don't have any familial health problems except obesity (& my mother would throw a brick at me if she knew I say that she is obese but she is). That is one reason that I do work so hard. Obesity can/will lead to so many other issues that I don't want to deal with.

As for the post I deleted, I got scared that John would see it even though I log out of this account every day.

You are right, nothing good would come of talking to him & it didn't. I would find myself pissed off after every conversation -- because I wouldn't call him out for the liar he is. Unfortunately, I still sort of missed him even though I know he's a royal douche bag. When I heard his voice I remembered all of the fun times & forgot that he lied to me so often.

Whatever, his email has been filtered to go directly to my trash. In all of my email accounts. Yay me!

Deb said...

Oh for those of you that didn't see it...In short, I was talking to Tony last week. He got out of line--wouldn't respect the boundaries I set in our email correspondence so I cut him off.

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