Saturday, May 22, 2010

Polished turds

This is what I'm going to start calling the "pearls of wisdom" that Ernie spews.

Leanne did her physical training fitness test yesterday. The AF (all military) requires members to pass a fitness test every 6 months. The AF test includes push-ups, sit-ups (elbows to knees), & a mile & a half run. While she tested I went out to show moral support--I was really happy that she didn't start testing until I was finished with my own workout. teehee

While waiting Ernie was talking to my 19-yo cheerleader about bodybuilding & "A muscles" verses "B muscles." I asked what he meant & he spewed some shit about how we have two muscle types & the way we work them should be grouped in A & B workouts. I asked how this related to fast & slow twitch. He didn't know what that meant. Okay--so where ever he got his training from doesn't talk about that. And maybe fast & slow twitch has been changed to something else. I don't know but I can't find ANYTHING on any website that says this. Any clue???

The conversation turned to competitions & how you should taper when in the last week or so of training before the comp. Cheerleader boy talked about a comp he did & how he learned that lesson the hard way--was doing 275/300 lb chest presses 2 days before a comp & then found himself unable to do more than 225 at the comp. DOH

Ernie began talking about how you have to really hurt yourself to do comps like that & that no one in our gym was going to win any comps because they aren't training correctly. This turned into a conversation (that I didn't participate in but took in with "awe") about competing & how no one in our gym was going to win any type of competitions; bodybuilding, figure (I think he glanced at me), or power lifting. Ernie said that our gym isn't designed to meet the needs of a competitor. Really? We have every type of equipment you could possible need.

Anyway, this pissed me off to the point of thinking that mother fucker threw down the gauntlet. My workouts are rocking. I'm kicking it up to a level of glorious DOMS almost every workout. My cardio is leaving me soaked & winded. I think I've got the diet thing figured out. I need to kick that up a notch. I am down 1.5 lbs this week (yay) but I still have a long way to go in 3 months.

Do you think it can be done? What do I need to do? I want to show this ass hole that he has no fucking clue what he is talking about.


Anonymous said...

I think he is totally full of shit and YOU CAN DO IT!!!

Plus, it's an excuse to buy stripper shoes. Won't that make John happy??

Wennndy said...

Ignore him. Sheesh. Eyes on your own paper. Keep to yourself. Then, SHOCK AND AWE!!!!!

stacey said...

I think spiting Ernie will make this even more fun for you! He sounds like a total moron.

Anonymous said...

I was thinking about this. Do you think he has somehow renamed muscle groups when you do a push/pull rotation? Other than fast/slow twitch, that's the only explanation I can come up with.

Well, other than the one where he is nothing but a tool.


Laura said...

Ernie is a chucklehead. What makes him such an expert, anyway? Has he competed? Trained competitors? He's an idiot. Oh, wait--I already said that.

Deb, you can do whatever you want. It all depends on how much you want it. I know the dieting thing is hard for you (and I'm right there with you on that!) but as long as you want the single-digit body fat percentage more than you want the frozen custard or whatever. you can totally stay on plan for 3 lousy months. Right?

PS How's Roxie doing?

Deb said...

No, Marie, it's not push/pull either. I don't know what he thinks it is. He has entire workouts that Leanne is all in AWE of...But they aren't even total body or splits or anything. She is completely enamored by his "genius" but when I point out the flaws in his training & that our Exercise Physiologist (who has an MS in EP & is certified through ACSM, NASM, & Cooper) at the clinic literally shudders when she hears his name Leanne goes all blank (dear in the headlights). She's such a fucktard where he is concerned sometimes. I tell her this to her face so I'm not talking shit behind her back.

Anyway, I would be right around 90 days out & probably 20 lbs from where I need to be. The workouts are easy. I can see the muscle under the body fat; I've been sunless tanning this's there!!! I can do this. Operation "Shock and Awe" begins now.

I'm thinking about these shoes...

But, Marie, sadly John isn't into role playing & shoes don't turn him on. Just get nekkid & do it... BIG TIME le sigh

I'm in lockdown & ready to show this rectal void that he doesn't have a clue.

Laura, thanks for asking about Roxi. She's doing well. I don't know if I posted that she has fluid built up around the incision. It scares me. It's not getting any worse but I don't think it's getting better either. Her chest is white & her skin has always been very pink--like a baby's butt. Now it is dark red, like she's had blood pooling. However, right now, she is rolling around the living room floor after having eaten a good dinner. She's her normal, playful self.

stacey said...

It seems good that Roxi is playing and seeming like her normal self. I would be worried too but that is a very good sign.

Good luck with the comp! You can do it!

Doin the Math said...

You can SO do it, and I so want you to and show that jerk! GAH!

How did Leanne do on her test? While I wouldn't want her to fail, it would be fun if the training she's been doing with him didn't provide her a marked improvement over her previous test scores.

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