Friday, April 16, 2010

Yesterday is behind me

I have had the most horrific food days lately.  I am going to detail what I’ve eaten but I need to forewarn you it is U.G.L.Y. Seriously U.G.L.Y.  I also want you to know I’m not beating myself about it.  I’m just putting it here to journal about it & analyze it as much as I can.


On Wednesday I bought a bag of rice cakes, a jar of Jif Natural Peanut Butter, a canister of cocoa covered almonds, and a canister of chipotle cashews.  I ate 4 cakes & an unknown but too much peanut butter.  I ate half of the canister of chipotle cashews & a large part of the almonds.  Before bed I ate 5 pieces of raisin bread (that Joe wanted so I bought).  On Thursday I stopped on Dunkin Donuts to buy my usual large coffee with skim milk.  While standing in line my mouth started watering.  I bought 6 donuts.  I ate them all.  Later I ate another bunch of almonds. By myself. 


I don’t know what came over me.  I did not try to justify what I was doing or why I was doing it.  I just let go & completely enjoyed each & every bite.  I mean, truly savored it.  I felt some guilt.  I told myself that I was potentially any good I had done with my workouts and responded to myself with, “yeah, so what.”  That simple. 


Yesterday is behind me.


Today I did legs:


Deadlifts from the floor: 85 lbs

Reverse Lunges: 65 & 60 lbs

Good mornings: 45 & 50 lbs



I did abs & finished with 30 minutes on the stationary (upright) bike at level 12. 


John has been going through an audit at work.  The project he works on has been in place for 6 months & the company was checking to see how things are going.  He did well.  The findings were what he expected.  There are things that need to be corrected but they are things that he is aware of & can only be corrected with time.


The managers doing the audit are the same managers that asked him to take this job.  Yesterday two of them came to him and asked him if he would consider moving to Florida to work for corporate.  They want him to be involved with project start ups and inspections.   He told them that yes, he would absolutely be interested because interestingly we have been talking about moving to Florida in the future.  No specific time line but after Erin gets married (which isn’t happening at the moment). 


We don’t know if there is a job or what they have in mind but it’s an exciting proposition.  The managers that asked him have already taken care of him.  They are the same managers that had him working the Walter Reed project for which he got a nice bonus & the ones that convinced him to take this job. 


We’ll see what happens.


I said Erin isn’t getting married at the moment.  However…it is only a matter of time before I post, “SHE’S ENGAGED!” Greg is going to close on his house in a few weeks & has asked her to move in.  He told her that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her.  She told me last night that she hasn’t gotten “the ring” because she doesn’t know what she wants. 


I’m happy for her.  Greg is a nice guy & very fiscally responsible.  Other than his mortgage & his truck he has no debt; a lot of expensive toys but he has paid cash for everything. 


I’m at work—will be posting this via email.  When I got here this morning no one was here.  I opened my email a calendar invitation for my Director of Operations (DO) to attend an important meeting at 8:00—I have access to view his & my commander’s calendars.  The invite was not sent until 4:27 – I shut my computer down at 4:25 yesterday (don’t ask me how I remember that but I do).  I checked the DO’s calendar to find that he is not coming in until later.  There were other people invited that are within my chain of command.  I called the next highest ranking person listed—Capt C.  No answer.  Left a voicemail asking him to call me right away.  I decided to call the DO on his cell.  He told me that he had spoken with “the boss” and that the boss is aware he is not going to make the meeting & that it is being covered.  I called Capt C back to leave another voicemail, crisis averted. 


I shit you not—5 minutes later I get a call from someone VERY high up the food chain – wanting to know why the DO is not at another very important meeting.  I tell him that I wasn’t aware of that meeting and that the DO is not coming in until later. 


I fucked up.  I told him that I was unaware of the meeting until I came in this morning & that I was unable to reach anyone on their cell phones.  I know that is going to come back & bite me in the ass.


My phone rings again…Where is the DO?  At an appt & won’t be in until 1130 or so.  He is supposed to be or have someone at this meeting.  Click.  I do not know who it was that called because it was an outside line.  If given the opportunity I would have asked who they wanted me to call & started calling everyone & their brother.


Whatever.  You know what—apparently I’m a babysitter & now have to get EVERY FUCKING BODY to give me their calendars & have them check in & out with me.


le sigh


Wennndy said...

K, so there is lots to comment on here, but mostly I will talk about the food.

You're hormonal, and mostly your body wants to put that vacation weight back on. Show it who is boss! :)

Sorry about the work stuff. Blah. And interesting about the Florida stuff. Right now Florida sounds delicious to me.

Laura said...

Urgh to the babysitter duties. I hate that crap. You can be the most responsible, on-top-of-it person in the world (which you are), and yet if the people you're supposed to be minding are not equally responsible (which they never are) you're the one who ends up getting the blame for not keeping close enough track of people's whereabouts. Blech ... and a waste of your considerable talents.

Good for you for not guilt-tripping over l'Affaire Donut. I'm sure even Tosca Reno has slip-ups now and then, and in the greater scheme of things they just don't matter. It's what you do day in and day out that counts.

That said, I wonder whether it might be helpful for you to read Michael Pollan's book--I forget the name of it, but it's all about the literally addictive quality of foods that combine fat and sugar. There's just something about the combination that's like crack, and Pollan's thesis is that this is why so many people are obese. They literally can't stop eating donuts and other junk food. I haven't read the book myself, but it's an interesting idea and I tend to think there's something to it. Overeating can have emotional causes, of course, but I believe a lot of it is physiological.

Just a thought

Doin the Math said...

Is that one, "The Botany of Desire", Laura? I bought that one when I bought The Omnivore's Dilemma, but I haven't read it yet. I need to dig that out of whatever box it got packed into when we moved.

Sorry about the job stuff, Deb!

I know lots of people LOVE Florida, but I wilt when I hear the name, lol. I can't take humidity any more. My outlaws are/were in Tampa, and the FEW times I went there in summer, they had to pack me in ice when we went outside, LOL.

Laura said...

Doh! It's not Michael Pollan who's the author, it's David Kessler, and the book is The End Of Overeating. Michael Pollan's The Omnivore's Dilemma is also worthwhile although it can make you sort of afraid of your food.

Kim said...

Sorry about the babysitting duties required... I share your frustration.

I want my nutrition program to have a foundation beer, wine, nachos and dark chocolate. If I can have that you can have six donuts! LOL!

Laura, thanks for lead on the book: The End of Overeating.

stacey said...

Almost engaged??!!! How exciting!

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