JerseyGirl Gets Lean

2011-11-02T16:46:00.000-04:00

completely not fitness related...

John has started dating. This makes me really happy for him! Erin said it's weird talking to him about his dates but he is having fun & that makes her happy.

I wanted to shout for joy when she told me.

yayayayay!

2011-10-30T09:09:00.000-04:00

I got back to the gym for 4 days & ate on target all week. I lost 2.2 lbs. Yay! I'm still 5 lbs up from where I was before vacation but whatever, I'm back in the saddle. I feel good about my nutrition & where I am. That's the important thing right now.

I didn't get to the gym on Friday because I woke up feeling clingy (PMS sucks this month). We laid in bed & talked from 4:30 until 6:15 which almost made both of us late for work. We talked about all sort of stuff. Nothing earth shattering. Just stuff. It was good.

I'm looking forward to another great week!

Vacation + Bad Cold = WEIGHT GAIN

2011-10-16T20:43:00.001-04:00

I ate like a pig. Didn't exercise. Didn't drink enough water. I got sick. I gained 10 lbs in a week. Really! I'm not completely freaked. A little but not completely.

I have a plan & that's what matters.

I am going to start eating right again tomorrow (I'm blogging at 8:30 PM). I will start working out again when my head doesn't feel like it's the size of a basketball. When I am back on track I've got to be more consistent with my journal here, too. I feel like that is probably the key to my success.

2011-10-03T17:16:00.001-04:00

I'm still struggling to get it back together. I'm trying everything under the sun. For the last week I've been getting up a little later & not beating myself up for not getting my entire cardio workout in. I feel a little better this week.

I have started using Stephanie's advice more. I'm emailing her a couple times a week to get pushed. I love her! I think knowing my coach personally has made a huge difference in how I communicate with her. Not that I think Rachel wasn't good. I just didn't feel connected the way I do with Steph.

This morning I got an email from Steph this morning telling me that she talked to Cathy about me. I think that is sooooo cool! Advice back, cut down on my cardio to 30 minutes a day & concentrate on building muscle. "Lift like a mad woman!" So, tomorrow is leg day...Guess who will be increasing her weights on EVERYTHING!

She's increasing my fat intake to 3 TBS a day but leaving the rest of my nutrition in place. I'm going to stop using the Isagenix twice a day because I am finding that I miss real food. I'll be doing a shake in the morning before my workout. I think that will help me tremendously.

I still have no real goals. I don't have any special events coming up & I'm not going to compete in the near future (or maybe ever). I'm just going to concentrate on eating better & building some muscle. We'll see where it goes from there.

2011-09-19T18:14:00.001-04:00

EH. That is all.

2011-08-27T02:45:00.002-04:00

Have found my nutrition mojo again. I'm losing again. Steve is back on days so I have to watch myself. He sat feeding me ice cream tonight; 4 bites.

I feel good in the gym. I increased my weights on almost everything this week, even if only for 1 set & then back down again. I am done playing around. My photo shoot pics tell a tale...More work to be done. I've kicked up the cardio, too. Doing sprints on the tread mill with a crazy incline. Sweat fest!!!

If I didn't send you the link & password, let me know. I tried to get everyone.

I'm hoping to hit the gym in the morning before the hurricane hits us.

pictures will be available soon

2011-08-21T19:27:00.004-04:00

Photoshoot was so much fun. I am not a "sisterhood" kinda girl but I LOVE me some Savage ladies. They are all so like minded & so genuine in their love of what we do & how we get there. It was even more fun that I got to share it with Erin.

Erin is starting to think that competing might be her way to "the stage." She loves that it's about health where ballet was not so much. She loves that she doesn't have to be 6' tall. She loves that she can have the support of amazing women like you all & the Savage girls. I love that I'm able to share this with her & that I can support her in her desire to go down this road!!!!

Oh I got down to 149 for the shoot! I don't know if I'll still be there tomorrow because Erin & I went to Cheesecake Factory for a piece of Linda's fudge cake. We shared it. We couldn't even finish it!!! So proud of that. I brought the left over 1/2 home to Steve. If the scale is up I'm not going to be upset -- the time with Erin was SOOOOO worth it.

Email me & I will email you a link to the photos & the password to the private site Jason (the photographer) set up. You might be able to see them on his Facebook page, too.

2011-08-18T18:15:00.002-04:00

Did an insane interval workout on the treadmill today.

10% incline

5 min @ 3.5 MPH

45 seconds @ 7.8

1 min 15 seconds @ 3.5

5 minutes @ 3.5

Do the intervals for a 30 minutes providing a 40 minute workout.

What I was able to do was at a 7.5% incline & stopping the sprints at around 30 seconds. I managed to do the intervals for 10 minutes & then jumped on a cross trainer. I was beat up! Can't wait until next week to try again.

I'm probably going into my photo shoot at 150. Not where I want to be but better than I had feared. There will be another shoot in October/November. There's my goal!

I ordered Isagenix today. Color me a member of the Pink Empire. Woot Woot! I'm looking forward to trying the product & seeing how I feel. Will let you know.

2011-08-17T15:07:00.002-04:00

4 days out & I'm working as hard as I can. Nutrition is in check. Workouts are in check.

I talked to Stephanie today. I'm changing coaches. Stephanie starts on 1 Sept. I let Rachel know I'm making the switch. I'm SO excited to know that my coach will actually SEE me & know if I'm doing things per plan. I think it might help my lagging motivation.

2011-08-14T07:12:00.002-04:00

On a more positive note...

Steve & I went to Wells Mills Park to run yesterday. It's fun finding these places to run together but not. He runs with me for a couple of miles & then takes off for his long runs. Did I mention he's doing the Air Force marathon in 4 weeks?

I did 2 hard miles yesterday. Hard because it included a lot of hills & soft sand. But I did it. Then I did untimed intervals on the way back for a total workout of an hour.

I'm going to finish my protein powders & then order some Isagenix through Wendy (look for an email asking for more info). I am looking forward to the ease of meal planning. Having only 1 refrigerator is a pain. I don't know how you ladies have done it for so long.

2011-08-13T15:37:00.001-04:00

Went for what I had hoped to be a 4 mile run but got 2 & quit. We ran trails that were crazy. Steve did 8.

I found pictures from April. Why did I let my nutrition go? I looked so fabulous! I was so close to goal. Eh. I'm back in the game.

2011-08-12T11:59:00.002-04:00

Me at 151; again.I'm not happy with the weight gain but it is what it is. I've got to stop drinking white wine. One glass & I retain water. It's so yummy this time of year, though.

Today was chest & tricep day. I felt good physically but mentally I'm struggling. It's probably because I'm discouraged about my weight. If I lose 2 lbs this week I'll be happier with my weight for my photo shoot. I accomplished 40 minutes of intervals on the cross trainer today. The machine showed my heart rate isn't getting up as high as I would like--135 max. I am going to have to find my heart rate monitor & start wearing it to see if the machine is off.

Food today:

1 slice Ezekiel bread
Schmear of peanut butter
1 small banana

3.5 oz Greek yogurt (Kirkland brand)
1/2 c apple

1/2 c carrots
humus
1 serving Optimum Health protein

4 egg whites
1/4 c potato
1 TSP olive oil

3.5 oz shrimp
1/2 c zucchini & yellow squash

3 oz pork loin
1/2 c zucchini & yellow squash

I'm going to add 1 scoop EAS protein to a SF pudding snack later for a snack tonight. Yum.

Damn it!

2011-08-07T07:32:00.002-04:00

My body does not tolerate cheats. I had a baked potato with low fat sour cream, butter, & a TBS of bacon bits & then some popcorn last night. My body is retaining water. I hate that. It freaks me out. I know what it is but still...I was feeling good about making progress only to have those good feelings dashed this morning. Steve has threatened to throw away my scale. HA!

Yesterday we went to Valley Forge for a run. Steve is prepping for the Air Force marathon in September. He needs to step up his running big time! So we made the hour drive. I ran/walked/sprinted 3 miles in 40 minutes. It was tough! The hills there are awesome. We hope to get back there again a few times before the race.

I've got to take pictures today. I haven't checked in with Rachel in more than a month. I am so ready to get back at real training! Not just for the pictures but because I want to quit dieting.

The plan for the week is to nail every workout & do 2-a-days Monday, Wednesday, & Thursday. I'm not doing it on Friday because I want to come home on time.

I've got to clean the refrigerator. I just don't seem to have the room to store my meals the way I would like. Now that I only have 1 frige it's frustrating. Suggestions?

17 days out

2011-08-04T14:58:00.001-04:00

I’ve got 17 days to lose 5 lbs. I’m going to do it if it kills me!

Workouts are getting back on track. Steve has been jumping right out of bed with me in the morning—more so that he can go to work early but at least he’s stopped holding me down. HA I’ve been getting to the gym & doing my stuff. Today Leanne & I ran 3.5 miles.

After work I’m hitting the gym again so that I can do 30 minutes on the cross-trainer. I’m determined to get in photo shoot shape. I’m considering ordering the Isagenix stuff through Wendy. I keep reading how well everyone is doing on these products & think I need a boost (read magic bullet).

2011-07-30T18:57:00.003-04:00

TOTALLY RELATED TO NOTHING: This blog is now public.

Okay it's time to get my shit together. I gained 10 lbs over vacation. Considering it was 2 weeks of chowder, fried clams, french fries, and ice cream I'm not unhappy. I'll be taking pictures tomorrow & sending them to Rachel & Cathy. I'm signing on for the Pink Empire Challenge.

I did run some while away. Some. My longest run was 3.5 miles. One morning I did a 30 second interval workout. I ran sprints & stairs & jumped around a lot.

I thought I would go back to the gym this morning. I did not. Monday is the day. Steve is headed into a long month at work so I'll take advantage & do some 2-a-days.

Update on my brother...

His INSANE common-law wife was served with custody paperwork two weeks ago. On the day that she was served she filed complaints against my brother for violating the restraining order. She said he was in 2 places at the same time. In court she couldn't produce evidence because she turned it over to the police rather than her attorney. The judge continued the case against him.

The custody hearing was postponed until a later date because she requested a different judge. No reason given. Just wanted someone different.

On another note I will be divorced in 10 days.

Guess I need to update here more often. It might help me achieve my goals.

2011-07-12T19:33:00.003-04:00

Okay. Diet sucks. I'm up 5 lbs in 3 weeks. Yay. Not.

I got a little push out of bed this morning. Steve was very supportive. I hit snooze 3 times. Bad me. On the 3rd alarm he gently suggested I get moving. YAY!

I did upper body & abs & ran 2 miles. My time was slow. It was already 78 degrees when I ran & the humidity was horrible. Steve ran more than 5 -- don't know how he did it.

My nutrition was better today but still not great. I didn't eat enough. Otherwise it was okay--on plan anyway.

I'm going to try to keep it together over the next few weeks...Vacation in Maine means lobster & chowder. YUMMMMMMMMM

2011-07-06T08:25:00.002-04:00

I haven't been working out consistently. I really need to find that grove again. I'm hoping to do something in a bit but woke with a migraine. Steve drove all over town to find Excedrin at 0600 this morning. God bless his hero complex! I'm still sitting in the dark but I'm feeling a little better.

I posted on facebook that I ate 1/2 lb of fudge yesterday. I am surprised that I'm not up a lb or 2 but I'm not.

I am taking my diet to extreme for the next couple of days...Really dialing in & not deviating. Is that extreme? I guess not. But for 3 days I can do that. I can keep it in check in short spurts. I will re-attack on Saturday & create more small goals.

I'm going to meet Erin for mani/pedis on Saturday morning & then we're going to lunch. It will be healthy & nutritious. No fried foods. Salad.

2011-07-03T07:08:00.002-04:00

I started to post this as a comment in Wendy's blog but thought it would make a good post for my blog since I haven't updated in a few days (need to do the other one, too).

I've been doing a lot of emotional eating this weekend. Happy eating.

Thursday night Steve got home earlier than we anticipated -- he surprised me! We ended up ordering pizza & wings. Burp.

Yesterday we spent the day shopping & cleaning the yard. We stopped at Arby's for lunch & then had ribs, beans, & corn for dinner. Oh & because it was such a good day I wanted ice cream...Dairy Queen. Did I get a small? Nope, medium chocolate, cookie dough, fudge blizzard. OH. MY. GOD!

Oh, Steve wanted waffles. Not just any waffles. I did homemade waffles. Had to buy a waffle maker. LOL

And I wonder why I'm up 3 lbs. HAHAHAHAHA

It's all happy eating. I remember reading about Sandi eating with Pete & thinking she was out of her fucking mind. I get it. It's so nice to feel happy but I'm starting to feel fluffy, too.

I have a photoshoot in 8 weeks. I need to get it in check. Right now.

2011-06-28T12:34:00.002-04:00

I couldn't sleep last night. Was still awake at 11 & awake again at 3. I went back to bed at 4. So no gym today. I wanted to at least go for a run this afternoon but it's raining. Eh.

I'm eating on track & feeling pretty good about that. Hope I sleep tonight.

2011-06-26T07:56:00.002-04:00

Wow, it's been a long time since I've updated. I hope to be better about it now that life is getting into a new routine. This blog is going public...nothing to hide anymore.

My scale at the old house is either wrong or I've lost weight! I'm down to 143.7 this morning. Steve bought me a new scale. I like it. LOL I though about getting a body fat scale but decided that might make me crazier than I already am about the scale.

I took 2 weeks off & went on a re-feed of sorts. I didn't care about what I ate. Today I'm back at it. I went back to the gym on Thursday & had 2 good strong workouts this past week.

Stephanie Keenan is putting together a photo shoot scheduled for August 24. I'm in! Erin & I are hoping to do Mother-Daughter photos. How cool will that be?! Suggestions are needed for outfits. We want to get complimentary outfits to wear.

So my plan for the next 8 weeks...Eat right, exercise. We're going to Maine right in the middle of this. Guess I won't be eating as much chowdah & fried fish as I thought I might. LOL I'm going to take a bunch of functionals & BodyRock.tv workouts to do on the beach.

2011-06-05T05:47:00.003-04:00

I hate the scale. I think I might break it. I mean take a sledgehammer to it. It's up & down so wildly that I can't stand it. I can tell you that I did not eat too much yesterday yet it's up 2 lbs. FML Must stay off it.

I have to take pictures for Rachel this afternoon. Not looking forward to it.

My meals are planned for the week I just need to prep them. I need to stick to them & reach my goal. I'm so close.

I was on the Savage forums this morning & found out there is a lifestyler on Fort Dix. Hope to hook up with her to do a functional or something on occassion. That will help motivate me.

My workout week will look like this:

Sun: Functional

Mon: back & check

Tues: Legs & Abs

Wed: Cardio only

Thurs: Shoulders & Arms

Fri: Madness in the Gym (which really looks like a functional with a fwe weighted exercises)

Each weight workout will be followed by 45 minutes of cardio. I'm running a couple days a week now but will mix it up with some machine work.

I am so close to my goal. I need to get focused.

2011-05-31T18:24:00.003-04:00

I'm pounding water today & have not eaten anything not on program. In 6 weeks I will be going away. I will be wearing a bathing suit weather permitting.

I am up 2 lbs from before the weekend. Ugh. But on Sunday I had a milkshake AND a cupcake. So...I need to keep it in check.

I've been blowing off the gym entirely too often in the last week. Got to stop that this minute. Tomorrow I'm doing something metabolic. Function fun here we come. Followed by a good HIIT session. Must burn calories. Lots of calories.

2011-05-27T01:57:00.002-04:00

I've blown my weight loss. Over the last 3 weeks I've gained 4 lbs back. Poor food choices; not eating enough throughout the day & binging at night. I have got to get it back together.

My workouts rock. I'm running 3 times a week as part of my steady-state cardio; 2 days straight runs, 1 day intervals. I'm up to 3.5 miles & want to get up to 5 in 45. I do 2 days inside on the machines. Wish I had a stepmill. I hear horrible (good) things about them. It's on my wish list for the end of the year when we have to spend tons of money so the DoD doesn't take it back.

I'm looking forward to making better food choices starting on Tuesday. Being away for the weekend doesn't lend well to dieting. Ugh.

2011-05-21T18:23:00.002-04:00

I got all new workout attire for my birthday! WOOT! New shorts, new bras, new tops, new socks! I got new sneaks about 2 weeks ago. Yay!

I went for maintenance today. My usual girl wasn't in. My wax job is so bad I'm going to have to shave for the next 2 weeks just to keep it presentable. FML What a waste of $25.

2011-05-20T17:40:00.001-04:00

My brother decided not to use Rose's brother but likes the attorney he found. She is an ex-police officer & knows a lot about the criminal laws Paulette is violating. She is already working on helping him get temporary custody & filing for permanent custody. Paulette has had 2 DUIs in the last 2 years; 1 with Kristina, my now 4 year-old niece, in the car. The other in which she totaled her Ford Expedition. Nice.

Out of body post

2011-05-15T02:47:00.003-04:00

My mind is racing with thoughts about Larry (my brother). Most of this post is taken from an email I just sent to a friend.

My brother's common law wife is in a VERY bad place. She's taking a ton of prescription pain meds & drinking. She's delusional & not eating. She has told my parents that she is mad at them because they didn't tell her that my brother is not Larry but William Morrison & is married to another woman...Read on...

My mom said he is so depressed (& how can he not be). She is so worried & sounds so tired. I want to go out & take some of the pressure off but she won't let me. She does have me on stand-by sort of. I don't know if you remember or not but Donna (Paulette's sister) is under investigation for money laundering & tax evasion after having a 14 year affair with the Toms River school district superintendent who is under indictment for corruption. Because of that she can't leave the state without permission from federal court. We don't know what that is going to take but we're waiting.

My dad was able to go over yesterday but Paulette is still resistant to them being there...they are Larry's parents & she is now blaming them. They should have "told her he isn't who he claimed to be." She is still going on about him being someone else & being married to someone for the last 5 years. Ironically they were going to get married 5 years ago but didn't go through with it.

I have been really struggling with the bull shit Missouri paternity law that says Larry has to establish paternity through DNA so I've googled it...Sure as shit he does. How fucked up is that. Even though his name is on the birth certs & he agrees that he is their father she gets to hold all the cards. They are seeing an attorney on Tuesday but until then the kids are with a nut job.

Rose if you are following...any suggestions on how to get around this fucked up state law? Know a good lawyer?

She has violated her own restraining order 3 times this week by showing up at the hotel they are staying in. Larry is staying with them. He can't afford to pay his mortgage & get an apartment & was sleeping in his car until my parents got him a room. I asked Mom why they haven't called the police on her for violating it but my Larry says he can't do that to her & is afraid the kids will end up in custody of child services until paternity can be established which could take more than a week.

Her son, Austin, is 15. Turns out he was home (asleep) on Sunday night when she went out & totaled the Expedition. Mom said he is taking care of the babies physical needs--bathing, feeding, etc. She takes them to day care even is she isn't working. So they are relatively "safe" but fuck. Austin is only 15 he shouldn't be raising babies yet he is because Larry did everything for them & Paulette can't do anything because she's so stoned half the time. He's a good dad & misses his kids so much.

On a cheerier note...My job got exponentially more interesting this week. I'm taking on the resource management of our squadron. Resource management is AF speak for budgeting, contracting, & spending of your tax dollars. Accounting. I'm so excited. I've learned a lot this week & still have a ton to learn.

I took over because our resource adviser got short-notice deployed to Ethiopia & we had no one to do it. Steve was sort of the back up r.a. but doesn't have the time to do this job. We talked about what is involved & I talked to my boss--it is in my job description to do it anyway. So I spent the better part of last week learning this new role from him. It was fun & frustrating because he is more anal than I am with numbers. lol

Anyway, workouts are going well & nutrition is on track. I'm losing again...back down to 144 this week. YAY!

2011-05-05T17:38:00.003-04:00

I had gait analysis done today by an exercise physiologist. Put little balls on different points of my legs & ankles & then recorded me walking & running. Kind of cool. After she looked at the tapes in slow motion. She sent me a bunch of exercises to do to correct some minor internal thigh rotation but said I have a good gait. She also sent me a link to Road Runner Sports to find the "right" shoe. I am wearing the right shoe! Yay! New Balance did a good job with their analysis. My Asics were also the right shoe.

My check-in was bad this week...I gained weight because I fell face first into Easter candy. Rachel cut my meals. Which really is okay because I'm ready to finish this & with the reduction in calories I should be able to do it within a month.

2011-04-30T08:16:00.002-04:00

Phew. Yesterday was a complete disaster. I was so sick. But I feel better today. Much better. Nearly 100% but still foggy. I haven't had a migraine in YEARS. It was brutal.

Today we're taking the cover off the pool & starting the clean up. It's going to take a while because of the cover blowing off earlier in the year.

I've started taking the spring stuff out. Washing & folding & putting away. It's a good feeling. Clean.

Migraines suck!

2011-04-29T15:38:00.002-04:00

I woke up with a tiny headache this morning. I had a bit of an upset stomach too. I went to the gym & walked a while. I went to do physical training (p.t.) with my squadron. Did the warm-up thinking this wasn't good...Did 25 push-ups & started to do crunches & BAM. Felt like I had been kicked in the head & sucker punched in the gut. Went to take my shower & get dressed. I sat in my office in the dark the rest of the day.

fuck me!

2011-04-23T07:20:00.003-04:00

Formation running is fun! Loved it! I was the only civilian to do the run. Felt good yesterday. Today...Not so much. I have low back tightness today. I keep stretching but it's not doing much good.

I'm down to 143 today. I have to take pictures later--she wants to see what this rapid loss looks like. It looks good!

I decided not to take the 8s back. I think when I wash them they will be okay. Nope, I don't wash before wearing.

I got new sneakers last night. Went with New Balance WR860, Sandi. New Balance gives a 15% discount for 3-Day walkers. I got some inserts, too, because I didn't feel like the arch was high enough for me. I LOVE THEM!

2011-04-21T09:13:00.001-04:00

I’ve been killing my workouts & my nutrition. I’m down to 143 this week. I went to American Eagle looking for jeans…All they had were those jeans with holes in them. WTF? So I went to The Gap. I got 2 pair in size 8. They are going back this weekend. The lady helping me actually handed me a size 4 by mistake. I didn’t realize it until I had them on…They were tight but I could get them up. WOOT! I’m going with a size 6 to get me through to goal weight.

I am going to start working out with the squadron on Mondays & Wednesdays. I’ll do it in addition to my normal stuff. My boss told me that I don’t have to worry about being out of the office because it is a squadron function & would be an alternate workplace for me. VERY COOL! I would still get my own 3 hours a week to do my stuff. I’m very happy about that! The workouts are pretty lame but it’s good to workout with other people.

Ab shot

2011-04-10T06:38:00.003-04:00

As I was getting dressed for the shower yesterday I was watching myself in my full length mirror. I couldn't believe it...ABS not just a little bit maybe abs but ABS almost a 6 pack!!!! I took a picture of myself in my bra & panties. I only sent it to Wendy & Sandi because I don't have phone numbers for everyone . And if it turns up anywhere I'll know who did it. lol I deleted it from my phone immediately. I'm afraid of the boys at work seeing it. LOL

The shower was okay. Chelsea & I talked shit about everyone. Ronda, aka the Bride, treats her man like shit! She literally dragged him around by his arm & talked down to him. His smile reminds me of someone trying to take a shit.

I ate a little of everything & am happy to report no damage done! I'm learning. I'm learning. I enjoyed myself without over indulging.

Wendy, thanks for the info about going 2 lbs down. I had never heard it from anyone but was actually thinking that might be smart. Especially given that 2 lbs is exactly what freaks me out.

I walked 3 miles yesterday. Today I'm going out for another 3 & going to throw in some hill sprints. The walk will take me about a mile out to a hill. I'll do 3 or 4 sprints & then walk home.

It's going to be another beautiful day today! Spring is arriving for us here in NJ.

two days so I'm calling it real!

2011-04-09T07:07:00.002-04:00

I'm at 145. I've held it for 2 days. WOOT WOOT! I've got 5 more to do & then I'll make some decisions. Do I want to lose more? Put 5 lbs back on? Maintenance?

And now that I'm getting this under control I'm seriously visiting the competition idea. I want to but I don't know if we can afford it. Suits for $300+, shoes, entrance fees, tanning, new make-up...Yep it would be very expensive. Right now I know that I can't do it but if John gets a job that would change.

And speaking of John: His second interview fell through. The owner got food poisoning. They didn't give him another date. However, he has that interview with the Coast Guard on Monday & another with Government Services Administration on Tuesday. The CG job is a GS-07 & would have an hour commute. The GSA job is a GS-11 & would have a 30 minute commute. For obvious reasons (money & commute time) we want the GSA job. lol

We haven't shown the house again since the offer. Not really concerned because John is starting to get interviews. Would love to keep the house. We'll see.

I'm going to a bridal shower for my cousin today. I really don't want to go. This is her second wedding & I'm a little in disagreement with all this stuff for a second wedding. I don't mind the big wedding because it is his first but she shouldn't be doing a shower. I have another cousin (not her sister) that told me last night she wants to give the bride a picture of her X as a gift. Makes me LMAO! No one likes this girl. It's sad.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Things I'm learning. Finally

2011-04-06T03:09:00.002-04:00

I have been doing really well with my nutrition program. I have been paying really close attention to what I eat& drink & how my body responds. I haven't been drinking as much alcohol & had not had wine in a few weeks. Mostly been drinking vodka martinis. When I drink. I've almost completely quit having one after dinner. Mostly on weekends.

I'm losing weight and regaining on weekends still. Though it has been much less marked. The last 2 weeks than in the past. Last week I gained a lb & a half back; lost 2 to again; gained 3/4 lb back this week.

BUT Monday was incredibly beautiful. I decided that I wanted to sit on the deck with a glass of wine. So I stopped & bought a bottle. I had a glass & a half. Not a bottle. A glass & a half. WTF?! I was up 2 lbs this morning. Yep. This girl's body does not like wine.

I pounded water today & know that I will be okay. I have quit stressing about the fluctuations. finally.

I love the workouts Cathy's team creates. They are a lot of fun.

And....I had someone ask me how much weight I've lost, today. I was talking to our superintendent today & he interrupted our conversation to ask if I've lost weight. He is the first person that I see on a daily basis to notice.

John has a second interview on Friday & a first with the Coast Guard (civil service) on Monday. No house showings. We are starting to toy with the idea of taking the house off the market for a while. If he gets a job that makes anything above $40k we'll be able to keep the house. That's a huge difference than what he was making & it would be tight but it would be a place to start. If he doesn't get a job we can always re-list it in July as we currently have enough in the bank to pay the mortgage through September & we are banking his entire unemployment check so by July we would be set through November.

The safe line of thought is that it isn't costing anything to have the house listed so why not leave it. It's just what we're toying with.

Anyway, it is now 0330 & I think I might be able to sleep. Good night.

5 weeks in

2011-04-02T07:16:00.004-04:00

Here are the pictures from August.

I weigh 146.75 this morning. Pretty damn happy with this considering I had cupcakes & M&Ms on Monday. I kept it in line the rest of the week to maintain where I've been. I will lose this week! I will lose!

My ass & gut are considerably smaller. I'm very happy with these shots. What they don't show is the definition that was visible in my FB picture of me in the dress. That's disappointing because I know it's there & want you to see it. Soon enough I'll be tan again & you will see it then.

I think my hammies are finally starting to pop & that makes me VERY happy! They have been so flat but if you look closely you can see a little bit of a curve.

John & Erin are going to DC today to see the Smithsonian's orchid exhibit. I'm going shopping for shoes. Yeah!

John had an interview on Thursday. It was promising. We hope to hear something this week. We'll see.

2011-04-01T18:09:00.001-04:00

Watch this space for pics tomorrow.

2011-03-29T17:54:00.004-04:00

UGH! So I made this decision & immediately fell into poor food choices. Self-sabotage. ABSOLUTELY. It stops right here.

I can't believe I haven't posted about this but went back & confirmed...Here at the details of the offer on the house:

As you know we are asking $285k. Seller offered $265k, requesting my 4 year old, $2500 refrigerator, my $4k front load washer/dryer combo, a to be installed garbage disposal, paint the front & garage door, AND $5000 toward their VA funding fee (which can be rolled into their mortgage by the way).

Our realtor advised that if they are asking for the funding fee they probably need it. My response, "then they shouldn't have been looking at homes priced this high. They are insulting with their shitty offer."

We counted: $280k, the refrigerator, no washer/dryer combo, no garbage disposal, we would paint the doors (we have the paint & are just waiting for good weather), and the funding fee. Or $275k, the frige, the paint, no funding fee (works out the same).

They called back & asked a bunch of questions on Saturday. Called with more questions on Sunday. Dragged us into today before our realtor finally got the call that they "just can't afford it."

As I said to our realtor on Saturday, "if they can't afford the closing costs, they need to look at less expensive homes." Fuckers.

My opinion? Do a search on Realtor.com in the 08054 zip code for homes in the $250-$290 price range. Our home is right at the top. Look at the pictures of the homes listed. IMHO none comes close to ours. I know I'm biased but I truly believe it.

Eh. It is what it is. I'll rest better tonight.

2011-03-28T17:30:00.000-04:00

I took Erin with me. There were 7 of us total. The other ladies, including Stephanie, are all doing the Mohegan Sun Fitness America show at the end of April; 5 weeks out & carb rotating.

We did a warm-up & a functional like you see in the videos--crazy Savage Camp stuff. The room was really small (Wendy's group ex room is CAVERNOUS by comparison) & had poor ventilation. I'm used to stuffy gyms but Erin is used to working out at home & not pushing as hard as she did yesterday. About 30 minutes in she felt like she was going to throw-up so she had to leave the room.

We chatted about our meal plans. Hey, Wendy, no one complained! Lol We're all eating the same stuff. We talked about how our skin reacts to different fats...Udos. Not good. A couple of us have had bad skin reactions.

The ladies were disappionted when I said I'm only a "lifesyle" girl; "Oh you are so close to the right weight." They were really encouraging & talked about all of the support they get as they prepare.

I came away with a few realizations...
a) I will go back. Probably only once a month but I will go back.
b) I want to compete. I think I'm ready.
c) I want to compete. I'm ready. I can do it.
d) I am going to compete this summer. I need to find a show.

Even more stupid scale

2011-03-23T18:29:00.003-04:00

Yep...No need to fret & I KNEW that. The scale is back where it belongs. Sheesh. What the hell is wrong with me? No more freaking out.

And oh yeah, loose, really, really loose pants! Ha! Who cares what the scale says? I need to stop it. BIG CHEESY GRIN

And I just got the email notification that Kim responded...See that! lol

No news on the house. John called our agent who totally pissed me off. He said he hasn't gotten any feedback. Well, can you call and ask? Oh, yeah, I guess I could. Dude, I'm going to pay your ass $18k for doing next to NOTHING to sell my house. Pick up the fucking phone & get feedback, THANKYOUVERYMUCH. ARGH!

I'm being challenged to change that freaking 4:20 meal again. I'm breaking out the blender & going with yogurt. I'll close the bedroom door. I'm going to have a Kashi waffle with coconut oil instead of peanut butter. Any other suggestions for food that can be easily & safely eaten behind the wheel?

I love working with Rachel. She's been responsive when I've needed her. It's really a nice change from what I was getting with Krista Schauss; which was non-existent.

I'm considering taking a trip up to the Mohegan Sun for the America Show. Stephanie is competing. She looks amazing already! There are a bunch of people from work going up. I've got to find out if any of them are ladies & if they have room for 1 more.

I may make the trip with Leanne if she doesn't flake out on me. She's having a tough time with her kids since returning from Afghanistan so it isn't really flaking out. That's me being critical of her behavior about the kids...long story that I just can't even begin to write out. Suffice it to say I came to realize today that she thinks like a 16-year-old & that doesn't make for good parenting.

I have to send pictures next week. I've gotten rid of my bikini because it had dry rot. Literally. So I might have to buy a new one. Maybe a cute teeny-weeny yellow polka dot bikini like I posted on facebook. lol

Stupid scale

2011-03-22T18:21:00.002-04:00

It was up 1/2 lb from last week. Stupid raisins. Staying out of them from now on.

I'm actually okay with it because my pants are loose. I need new pants. Can't wait to wear skirts & dresses more often.

I had to prove my age to one of the guys I work with. Told him I am older than he & he pooh poohed me. I whipped out the driver's license. He was impressed. LOL Whatever.

taking off from Laura's being frumpy post

2011-03-21T19:56:00.002-04:00

I have posted that I've been catching up on Weeds. This guy, Steve, that I work with & I have been throwing lines around the office--we're watching it at like a book club kind of thing. Watch & discuss. We are only in season 2. Last week we saw the episode where from when Mihalya starts dating the Muslem guy & her daughter says their women dress like beekeepers. I wore a skirt on Thursday because it was warm enough to get away with it. Steve told me that I should be dressed like a beekeeper because it was making it hard for him to concentrate. LOL

Can't wait to wear my dresses again. I always feel frumpy in the winter. This year I'm going to ROCK my dresses with my smaller, tighter body.

Again, thank you, Sandi for supporting me & eating the pizza & cookies I wanted to eat out of a sense of fuck this & the good damned fight to look good. I can face another week.

Tomorrow is my check in day & I think I'm going to be down a lb from last week!!!! So much for the fickle scale. lol

2011-03-19T17:53:00.002-04:00

Rachel just wants my meals to be different. I LOVE the ease of & the fullness I feel with eating eggs. I've been eating eggs for breakfast for 3 weeks. She wants me to stop that. So, okay, I'm going to eat some ground beef & ground turkey & chicken after my workout. Eh.

She also wanted me to switch up my protein shakes. Get another brand. She said I can still do those...Again for the ease at o'dark-thirty & "eating" in the car on the way to the gym. I will begin alternating them with yogurt shakes, too. Just to give myself another option. She also switched my fats. Instead of 1 tsp with every meal I'll have a TBS in the AM of nut butter & a full TBS of oil in the evening. I think I'll do half EVOO & half flax. No particularly reason except that's what I'm thinking.

I have my meals made & am going to switch up my starches a little...Ezekiel bread, yams, & Kashi pilaf this week. No oatmeal. See, I can follow direction. lol

We had a drive-by showing today. A real estate agent screwed up her clients' wish list. They asked to see our house but she booked the one down the street. When they drove past our house they stopped & called. It was 1000 & we had not even gotten dressed yet. The beds weren't made & Erin & Greg had spent the night last night so you can imagine the mess. We let them see the house & explained...This is what lived in looks like. LOL

It was a showing. No offer but a showing.

Tomorrow I'm going to do a bodyrock.tv workout.

on a roll

2011-03-18T07:42:00.002-04:00

I've lost another .75 lbs. Rachel wants me to do 45 minutes of cardio, 5 days a week; 3 HIIT sessions. Phew. Okay. I'll do it.

She also has changed up my nutrition this week & wants me to change my breakfasts & my shakes. 4:20 is a difficult time to be getting up to get something to eat & with having to jump in the car immediately to be able to get my workout in before work...I really can't think of anything else to have. I'll be asking for suggestions. I've been eating eggs every morning at 7:30 when I get to the office. She wants me to change that, too. It's just so easy to eat those things & it's working. I know I need to switch things up but man...it's hard! lol

My workouts are going really well. I love them! I work really hard & sometimes I feel like I'm going to puke. I am seeing changes. My shoulders are really starting to pop. My arms are awesome. Tank top weather is just around the corner.

Still nothing on the house or a job for John.

Just silliness

2011-03-12T12:49:00.002-05:00

I don't know why but I've decided I want to do a back bend. I'm getting close. I can get off the ground, I just can't hold it. However, I did it today while Erin was here & she said that when I was up in the bend she could see my 6-pack! WOOT WOOT!

Funny what can happen when I follow direction

2011-03-12T07:03:00.002-05:00

I'm down 2 lbs this week. Down to 146.5!!! I'm very happy with myself.

Erin is coming over to do a BodyRock.tv workout. It's gonna be a good one, that's for sure. Meals are planned for the weekend, too. Yay!

That is all. Carry on.

2011-03-10T18:07:00.002-05:00

So far so so-so. I lost it over the weekend. I should have done a workout, should eaten right...Didn't.

Here's what I've observed...

If I don't put my workout & my nutrition first I don't take care of it. Even though I spend the better part of Saturday preparing my meals for the coming week I didn't prepare any for Sunday. I thought I would work out on Sunday afternoon but I didn't.

My resolve is to make sure I have appropriate meals planned for the weekend with the exception of 1 reward meal--which will not be overdone. I am also going to do my workouts within an hour of getting out of bed on Saturday. That's when I workout during the week--up at 4; workout at 5. No matter what time I get up my workout will be started within an hour.

Yesterday was my first check in. I included the above "resolution" in it. I got a decent response from Rachel. Initially I was feeling hungry within an hour of eating my post workout meal & told her that's when I hungry & could eat my arm. She suggested that I add an oz of protein to that meal. She wants me to increase my cardio to 40 minutes 5 days a week. I'm not asking why. I'm just doing it. I've got the time. It's no biggie.

My goal is to do this for the next 42 days. That should provide me with a big change in body comp, yes? I think so.

Today was a functional workout:

Set 1

Renegade rows

Step-ups

Hanging knee raise

DB chest press

Set 2

180 degree burpees (turn 180 degrees in the jump do it again)

Tick tock jacks

Plank jacks

Plie squats w/lateral arm raise

Set 3

(do 1, do 1 & 2, do 1, 2 &3, etc)

Inchworm out

Pushup

Plank side-touch

Plank reach out

Plank elbow touch

Plank walk

Plank hold 60 seconds

Set 4

20 second sprint/1 minute 20 recovery—5 sets

I finished up with 20 minutes on the arc trainer at level 20. Burned something like 600 calories in 1 hour 20 minutes according to my HR monitor. I hit the start button again at some point sitting in my office & lost my daily data. Bumming! I had 10,000 steps before 0800 but haven’t really moved since.

2011-03-05T06:29:00.005-05:00

Thanks for the brain duster, Wendy! I do forget that. I'm going to quit using the fitbit calorie tracker. I don't need that. I made that decision last night after my little freak out.

I made the commitment that I would follow Cathy's advice for my nutrition & eat what she tells me. I can't do that without freaking out if I am looking at those crazy numbers so I'm not going to look. I'll keep a journal in Word but I won't put them in the tracker. Can't do that. It's like the scale. Can't get on that & let the number upset me (I think I've conquered that with my maintenance of late--the scale didn't move but I didn't freak). The good news is that I'm not sitting here crying into my coffee but just the opposite. I've lost 1 1/4 lbs this week!!!! 147 3/4 lbs. I am very happy!

Today is functional fitness day. It's a good one! It's gonna be fun to to put the heart rate monitor on & see what happens.

John is going swimming today. I have offered to go in but he won't let me do it. Snicker.

my list

2011-03-04T17:29:00.004-05:00

1) My nutrition plan is only by portion sizes so far--4 oz protein. I don’t know about being hungry. So far – with just 2 meals into me & I haven’t put in my coffee w/milk yet I’ve got 704 calories in me. That’s nearly half of what I was eating before. I’m not balking. Yet. We’ll see. I might be okay. And I haven’t even brought all of the food I’m supposed to bring to eat. I’m a little skeert!

*I started this at work & am now well into dinner...Since coming home I now know I've eaten 1300 calories & only eaten 4 meals. I'm very skeert! I didn't eat the fruit they want me to (1/4 c serving/4 times) & 1 TBS nut butter of my choosing. I'll have to try almond butter. Based on my fitbit food tracking I'm at 1300 right now. If I ad what they want me to I'll be up over 1875. That's a lot of food for fat loss, isn't it?

2) I’m getting a battery for my heart rate monitor. The stupid fitbit (which I love playing with) has me wanting to watch my heart rate on the machines. There are so many people wearing monitors in the gym that I don’t really know what mine is. When I think I’m working really hard the machine it shows I’m at 75. Um, yeah, that’s not right.

3) We’re going to look at paint for outside tonight. We need to paint the shutters, the garage, and the front door. We’re doing dark blue.

4) John had another interview yesterday & has another lined up for next week.

New nutrition plan

2011-03-03T18:59:00.003-05:00

Rachel sent me my "personalized" nutrition plan. I'm under no allusion that this was really my own plan. The email is too "mail merge" looking.

"Based on your evaluation form, here is what we want you to do this week!
Lets review your information!
Your current weight is 149. Your height is 5' 6" and you do not have any food allergies! Your goal is to lose weight and get smaller and tighter!
I know you want to get into optimal conditioning so lets do this!"

I'm okay with this. LE was all automated with a sprinkling of personalized stuff on my journal. A very small sprinkling. The email I received yesterday said that I should email with any & all questions & that the most successful clients are the ones that do contact them often.

So I broke the ice & emailed with just a quick, hey here's where my issues have been with programs in the past....Not asking for help when I need & lack of compliance in the diet. I got a response from Rachel today. Basically just saying hey back & letting me know if I need her she's there.

The plan is different than anything I expected. More protein than I've been eating. The same amount of veggies (1 c/meal) & the carbs are spread out in the morning. No carbs with dinner. Very specific amounts of healthy fats (EVOO, Udoos, & other oils) & 1 TBS of nut butter anytime during the day.

I like it but I'm afraid of how much more food it is. I AM GOING TO FOLLOW THIS PROGRAM! I'm finally ready make weight loss my goal.

Watch me DO THIS!

Did I tell you...

2011-03-02T18:49:00.002-05:00

Erin's BFF Tonia is preggers! We're expecting a baby in August. I can't believe the girls are old enough to have babies but they are. We got our first picture of the baby bump today. Tonia is all of 4'11" and top heavy to begin with. She's ALLLLLLL boobs now. Poor momma!

My first workout was fun.

Alternating DB chest press
Push-up jacks (go down, jack your legs out, go up, jack your legs in--very fun! & very hard!)
Cable cross overs
Tricep extensions (rope)
4 cts down/2 cts up push-ups
Elbow up & down planks
Close-grip BB press

My chest, back & arms were already tired from yesterday's workout but I still managed pretty well & am pleased.

Tomorrow I will do use the leg press machine for the first time EVER! I'm excited about doing something new.

My cardio yesterday was an old Hot interval session. Today was 30 minutes dready-state.

I'm having trouble with sleeping through the night. I'm not letting it get me down. I'll get back on track eventually.

We had not just 1 block fall into the pool but 5. I just can't believe we are probably going swimming on Saturday.

2011-03-01T17:56:00.001-05:00

I signed up for Cathy's lifestyle program on Saturday evening. I wasn't sure I did it right & was a little concerned that I might have to call this morning. BUT I opened my email while on the arc trainer warming up this morning...Not just 1 but 5 different emails from Cathy. A very pleasant surprise! I’m just now looking over the workouts…All I can say is O.H. M.Y. G.O.D.! The “on my way” workouts look tough. The “pro tour” stuff looks like I might die doing it. Very cool.

My coach is Rachel. I’ve already gotten an email from her telling me what she’ll be tracking for me. I’m very excited. Starting a new program is always fun.

In the meantime today I broke out one of the old Hot for the Holidays workouts & kicked ass. It is good to be back.

The house is staged. It looks fanfreakingtastic. I’ve always liked the way we had it but have wanted to get rid of things (those pictures) for months. We are hopeful that as the weather turns & people start thinking about the summer the house will show. If we could afford to hang on into the summer the house really would show better with the pool open & the deck furniture out but I really hope the house sells before May. I’d like to take a few weeks off during the summer & do the moving thing & enjoy being closer to the beach.

John just sent me a message through facebook that the one cinderblocks we had holding the pool cover in place blew into the pool. I told him when we covered it that I thought we needed to use anchors (we’ve always screwed the cover down & put blocks on top as added security). This year he was insistant that it would be necessary. It really pisses me off when I’m right about stuff like this. Now we have leaves in the pool, potentially a hole in the liner (he says no but I bet yes) & he has to get in the pool to get the block out. UGH!

2011-02-27T07:38:00.002-05:00

I'm so glad we spent yesterday staging. The house looks incredible...Not just clean but open & airy. Zen. It's amazing that we have spent $100 on paint & the house looks like we've spent hundreds. We still need to get paint for outside. I know what I want--a dark blue. We have to wait for warmer weather though. While we were moving around in the living room we saw a couple drive by & take notes...No immediate showing resulted in it though.

Hopefully this will help & things will start moving as the weather gets better. I want to be out of here by summer.

What's going on?

2011-02-26T06:50:00.002-05:00

Nothing. That's what. I haven't been sleeping well this week & could not get my butt to the gym. At all. I haven't been eating enough. I have been bringing more than half of my food home from work. I'm going to end up throwing away a lot of good food. Ugh. I hate that.

Despite that I've maintained--149. I should be happy but I'm not. It's weird that after a week off I think my body looks fluffier. I know that's not possible but I still look in the mirror & see fluff. Eh.

We are still working on staging the house. We've painted the turquoise room. Today we're taking down the portraits. There are some that I would like to see disappear (I'll post a picture on facebook as my picture of the day). My mom is coming over to help me do some cleaning--light fixtures & such.

All of this for pretty much nothing since we haven't had anymore showings. I'm so frustrated. Especially now that we know what we can get for less than half of our current mortgage. I know "God has a plan," I just wish he'd get on with it already.

Our taxes have been mailed in--I did them electronically & then I did them on paper. TurboTax worries me...We aren't a complicated return--income, student loan interest (which we can only claim a small amount of), mortgage, property tax, & charitable contributions. The state of NJ does not tax military retirement pay. TurboTax calculated tax on it! I'm not happy about having had to file paper forms...And I JUST realized I forgot to put direct deposit on the forms so we're going to have to wait for paper checks. Sigh.

At some point this weekend, I'm hoping to do the assessment to start the Lifestyle program with Cathy Savage. I'm ready to get started!

2011-02-18T09:26:00.001-05:00

Today's workout was a killer. Legs.

1 1/4 bb squats (squat with a bounce) 4x8—only used 75 lbs; must go up

Bulgarian split squats 4x10

1 leg Romania deads 4x10

Step ups 3x10

Overhead forward/reverse lunges 3x10

I thought it was too hot in the gym & had a really hard time of it this morning. I started off light because I didn't know how those 1 1/4 squats were going to feel. Then I went ahead & did my normal weights for split squats, etc... I had to go down to 15 lbs towards the end for the step-ups because my fore arms are FRIED. Must start doing a set or 2 of farmers walks each week....Maybe on cardio day.

Anywhoo....When we were in the locker room I was complaining about it to Leanne & she told me she was comfortable. That leads me to believe that maybe I'm fighting something because even after eating now I still feel kinda yuck. Gonna drink some more water.

I'm craving carbs this morning. I've been adding them back into my diet as I move away from Lean Eating. This morning I grabbed some rice cakes at the commissary on my way in. It was really hard not to buy something else. I looked at the Kashi cookies. They have less calories & less carbs per serving. It was really tempting to buy some. I put them back because they are not going to help me reach my goal. I left the rice cakes in the car because I could munch on them quite mindlessly while sitting here at work—I ate some on the ride between the commissary & the office. I really like a biscotti & may buy a box of plain (sans chocolate) because they were only 100 calories & less than 20 carbs. They will make a nice treat on the weekends with my coffee in the afternoon.

Last weekend went to look at houses in the area we want to buy in. We are looking at homes listed between $110 & $150k. At the lower end of the scale the homes need work but well worth what we would need to do. We looked at one home for $125 on a lake. The odd thing about the homes we’re looking at is that the outsides look like nothing great but the insides have so much potential for people like us…Younger with more energy to do the upgrades.

This weekend is going to be a little busy…We’re painting Erin’s crazy turquoise room a pretty shade of gray (almost white). We’re going to do some more packing of things that we want to keep but that need to be put away to make the house more “Zen.” I think we might even go buy some picture boxes to pack some of our larger framed stuff so that we can remove things from the walls. Finally, we’re going to put a bed in Erin’s old pink room with a white duvet to make it look like a kids room again. Currently we are using it as our craft room. Hopefully the “clean up” will help the house show better & will get it sold.

Thoughts on out of control eating

2011-02-16T09:52:00.000-05:00

Wendy's comments about food is very interesting. Breaking things down into macros used to be a big problem for me. That is one of the things that Lean Eating did do for me--I don't think about food that way now. It's a nice balance. Unfortunately, this past week has been full of challenges for me. John's birthday & Super Bowl Sunday fell on the same day. Girl Scout cookies came into my home of my own volition...thought I could handle them. Can't.

However, the thinking about food as a means for aesthetic purposes....Yep, that hasn't changed. "I can't eat this if I want to look like x." That's me. When I know what I should be thinking is, "I shouldn't eat this because my cholesterol is a little high, I’m genetically predisposed to high cholesterol so let’s counter balance that with better choices.”

This morning Leanne asked me how I felt yesterday. I told her every time the General came out of his office to give me things to do I thought, “Dude, if you knew I was commando it would freak you the f--- out!” LOL My dirty little secret indeed. I double checked my bag before putting it in the car last night. lol

I posted this on my facebook page but in case you didn’t see it…Are any of you using www.thereadingsite.com for you Kindle/Nook/iPad? I’ve found reviews that make it sound like a steal for $50 lifetime membership. Can it really be that good?

I broke out an old Cathy Savage workout for my cardio this morning. 6 minutes on the arc followed by 10 full-body squats, 20 lateral jumps, & 15 plank jacks for 5 rounds. I finished it off with 15 minutes steady state. I love those types of workouts because they just fly by. On Saturday I’m doing one of the functional workouts so I can get ready to do whatever Stephanie throws at us when I go over there.

lack of self-discipline

2011-02-15T10:59:00.000-05:00

That's me. I have gone completely bananas this week with food. I am
trying so hard to remind myself that it's not, "I can't" but "I can't
all at one time." And that's what I've been doing. All at one
time...Girl Scout cookies, donuts, bread, Brie & crackers, wine,
chocolate, hot dogs & ice cream. In 4 days I've had all I've not had
for the last 6 months. WTF? Serious PMS & a little stress. I've
alleviated the stress (will detail in a minute) & the PMS will go away I
just need to be more aware of what the hell is going on with my body.

I've copied & saved all of the lessons from the LE program. If anyone
is interested let me know & I'll send them to you. I'm sending them to
Wendy on disk & will be happy to do the same for you all, too. The only
thing I can't send is the video presentations which are in the member's
only forums & can't be saved. The videos aren't all that relevant to
the other lessons; they are pretty much stand alone.

The stress was due to John having a job offer. The position would have
paid okay & could have been decent BUT would have required him to work
nights. Have I told you all about this? Initially he would be working
on Willow Grove Naval Air Station about 60 miles from here. Without
traffic it's an hour & 15 minute ride. With traffic it could take
upwards of 2 hours because it just sits. The other thing is that they
want him to work 2 nights a week. John really wanted to take the job
but it just wasn't sitting right with me. I have so many regrets about
not telling John how I felt with the Annapolis job & I didn't want to
regret not telling him how I felt about this one...so I told him all of
my concerns yesterday & that I really wanted him to turn the job down.
He did. I think it is sort of a relief for him, too. Whatever.

Funny, TMI story...I forget to bring a towel or wash cloth or socks on a
regular basis. Today...panties. I'm sitting here commando! It's so
uncomfortable. Every time I cross my legs my pants seam goes right
between my labia. ACK!

HOLY MOLY!

2011-02-14T10:33:00.001-05:00

Would you look at the size of Krista's boobs! I'm sure this is an optical illusion. Maybe.

from the forum

2011-02-08T09:04:00.001-05:00

"Krista- I'm trying to follow your advice about eating less on legs days
if we want to decrease leg size or prevent them from getting larger."
WTF? This woman is a baby exerciser. Why on earth is Krista
propigating the notion that a woman is going to bulk up doing weight
work? Seriously. WTF?!
Stephanie is going to be offering functional workouts & posing classes
for $15 per 2 hour session--the first class is free. I'm looking at
going at the end of March/early April.
I set 2 pr's this morning: 95 lb front squats for 3 reps & 105 lb dead
lifts from the floor. I need to quit being such a baby & increase my
step-up weights. I'm still only using 25 lbs. I'm always skeert that
my ass will hurt too badly if I increase. Then later in the day I
always think, "really? isn't that the whole purpose of lifting? To
make your ass hurt? Next time make that step your bitch!" Silly me.

okay so here is the post I've been putting off posting for 3 days

2011-02-06T12:34:00.005-05:00

I don't like paying a lot of money for a whole lot of nothing. I have not heard from Krista in more than 3 weeks. Not a peep. I do not like paying for no lessons. I do not like paying for no feedback. I do not like paying $100 for workouts that I know I could design myself or take from some other source that I already have (Tom Venuto, Rachel, Alwyn & Lou, Wendy, etc). I don't like having to think about whether I'm eating right & not getting feedback when I discuss it in my LE journal.

I don't like paying $100 a month to be a part of a group of women that "can't do burpees because they are too hard." They are afraid of hard work. After 6 months they still can't squat with anything more than just the bar. They are nice but they just don't "get it." They are wondering why they don't look like bikini models with 25-30% body fat.

I should have pulled the release trigger on LE last month. I'm not happy there. Haven't been happy there. Have learned a thing or two but mostly that I can cook meals that taste good that will help me meet my goals. It's a good solid program if you don't know what you are doing but I think I'm beyond it.

I'm not looking for a magic bullet anymore. I'm finally over that. I know it's all about what I put into the program not the program itself. I'm looking pretty good & getting lean. I just like to have a program. Eh.

I'm signing on with Cathy Savage despite my bad experience with her in 2009. I asked Kim for input & she gave me really detailed info on her experience & history with Cathy. I'm really excited about it.

I'm signing up for lifestyle for now. I'm not ready to say I'm really going to compete. I just don't know that I ever will. I know that should I decide to go down that road I can make the switch & not skip a beat.

There you have it. That wasn't so bad, now was it? Nope. Silly me.

chin-ups

2011-02-04T14:08:00.000-05:00

Sandi & Wendy will remember having to spot me 18 months ago. Today I
did 3 sets of 3 unassisted chins! My arms never got completely straight
but I did get my head below the bar & then my chin back over the top.
Leanne is back from Afghanistan & was on the other side of the gym
making monkey noises. Damn her for making me laugh!
My ass is killing me today!

so....

2011-01-30T08:26:00.003-05:00

I didn't click the "opt out" button on Lean Eating. John has encouraged me to stick it out for a few more months. The program is pretty much going back to the beginning & re-emphasizing the core habits for the next few weeks (6 weeks total). If after 6 weeks the lessons don't kick up a few notches I'll bail.

I want to kick my diet into over-drive & get this last few pounds off so I'm going to journal them on MyDailyPlate again. I know that's pretty much a clincher for me in getting it done.

My cold is pretty much just in my head & chest. I'm not feeling crappy but I am having trouble breathing without Dayquil & Niquil. That stuff gives me such medicine head.

I'm not going to the gym tomorrow. Going to take one more day off to be sure I'm not going to set myself back. But I am feeling like a slug already.

completely disjointed post

2011-01-28T12:13:00.002-05:00

We've had 12" of snow & expect another inch or so tonight. I have a terrible cold so went to work this morning for 2 hours to complete a couple of tasks I felt couldn't wait until Monday & came home. I'm watching Weeds on Netflix instant view because Wendy posted on Facebook that she is hooked. I think I'll like it. No workouts for a few days because of this freaking cold. Hope to get back to it on Monday. Because of that I am not eating as much as I normally would. I'm keeping it clean. Eating things I would eat but not at the times I would eat. Also not even eating complete meals. I don't feel like eating healthy. I want comfort food...pancakes & sausage, pizza, Chinese food. I'm eating yogurt, steel cut oats, & eggs. I don't want to gain weight because I'm sick.

carry on.

Step away from the scale

2011-01-26T18:39:00.002-05:00

I have made a decision to stay the hell off the scale for the remainder of the week & to stay off it except on Saturday mornings when I weigh in. I still have 4 more weeks with LE because I didn't opt out right away & my payment came out today. Oopsie. I will opt out after this month. I'm done with it.

The reason for the scale decision is to see if I can "psych" myself into eating appropriate meals & portions if I don't have the scale telling me what I'm going. Sort of my own version of Rachel Cosgrove's thermometer jeans challenge.

It's going to be really hard because I have the big monster in the basement next to the refrigerator that holds my meals & there is one in the gym locker room right next to where I usually park my stuff. I'll be moving my stuff at the gym. The refrigerator can't be moved & I don't want to move the scale for a couple of reasons. Most importantly I want to learn the self-discipline to stay the hell off it. The other reason is that I do want to be able to weigh in nekkid once a week. I won't do that out in the garage.

So...here's my bad girl news. I broke & yes I meant Stacey. lol. I have the Venus Index. I haven't had much of a chance to read it. First impression...It's aimed at people that don't know you can't spot reduce. I should have gotten that out of the sales pitch. And they use "tone" far too often. I hate that. Eh. First glance of the workouts...I think I can modify them by lifting heavy. I haven't looked at the diet because that's not what I really was interested in.

Wendy posted on facebook that she was looking for women over 40 to do a survey for her...Did you see it? Did you do it? I did. It's going to be interesting to see what she does with that.

The Venus Index

2011-01-24T13:43:00.001-05:00

I have not made the same “no buy” resolution that Tracy has. I am itching to get more info on this…

The Venus Index

Oh man oh man! It’s just one more system to read about. I do not think it will be a magic bullet but I do think it would be an interesting read. Ack! No spending money! It’s $50. Not that expensive but still…I do not need another program right now.

I’m starting to track my food again. I haven’t lost weight in 2 weeks so I’m pretty sure I’m eating too much on some days; weekends. I do really well during the week but come Saturday I don’t eat right…UGH I don’t think I’m eating that much but I’ve been at 148/150 for more than a month now. Something is wrong with my diet.

close encounter of the Savage kind

2011-01-21T12:15:00.001-05:00

Back story…We had a minor snow event over night but we thought we were going to get more snow than we did. I got up an hour later than normal. With an hour later start I decided to use the small gym across the street from my office rather than the big gym. The dynamic of the big gym changes considerably after 6:00 AM. I use the small gym if I have to come in later.

This morning after my workout I was in the locker room when a woman walked in wearing all black workout wear with a pink logo. The logo was obscured by her pony tail but I recognized it & asked her if it she was wearing “Savage Gear.” She got excited, “You know Savage Gear?” I laughed & told her that I did & that I know a few Savage girls. We chatted for a few minutes & exchanged names. She told me to look her up on facebook so I did.

Wendy & Kim are already facebook friends with Stephanie Ward, Philadelphia Ambassador for Cathy Savage. She works in my sister unit. It’s kind of neat knowing there is another woman in the unit that has a love of looking good! lol

As if I wasn’t already motivated enough this really pushed a button for me. I need to continue to eat well & get my body into the shape I want it.

2011-01-20T10:40:00.000-05:00

I’ve got a few more weeks of the LE program. Yesterday Krista posted about the secret to lean eating being about our relationships with food.

Wow. We're here. Can you believe it?

We've been together for an amazing, life-altering journey.

I hate to sound cheesy about this but it's true. This has, for many of you, been a life-changing experience, just as my own journey has been for me (and it's still ongoing).

Now I'm going to share the secret to good nutrition, fat loss, and overall wellness.

Had I told you this at the beginning of the program, you would not have believed me. Here it is -- tra la!

It's almost entirely NOT about the food.

To lose body fat (or accomplish any nutrition goal), you don't need a "new diet".

You don't need a special fancy kibble.

You need a new relationship with food.

People often say they find good nutrition "confusing". A trainer friend of mine tells a story about this:

----------

A couple of years ago, during an interview with a popular fitness magazine, I was asked, “If you were to write a book on nutrition, what would it be like?”

My answer was simple: “It wouldn’t be a book at all. It could be a pamphlet.”

People often claim to be “confused” about what an intelligent eating plan should look like, and assume they need to turn to a nutritionist or a 400-page diet book to clear things up. I hear it all the time when I sit down and have my initial nutrition pep talk with a new client: “I have no idea what I should be eating. I’m sooo confused.”

That’s when I like to jerk their chain a bit.

On a piece of paper, I scrawl out an ersatz cheque for $5,000. The client’s challenge -- in three minutes or less -- is to make a point-form list of ten concepts they think would qualify as good nutrition principles. It can be anything that comes to mind. If they score an 80% or higher grade, they’re allowed to “cash” the imaginary cheque.

After three minutes, typical answers I get will include “Eat more vegetables”, “Cut back on bread”, “Eat smaller portions”, and “Cut out juice and pop.”

Out of all the folks who’ve played this game, I’ve yet to meet a single person who has failed to win the $5,000.

The job of a nutritionist or dietitian is primarily to answer the “what” question: What to eat, and what not to eat. But are you absolutely sure you don’t already know this stuff? Is it possible that hiring a nutritionist might just be a form of procrastination, or a way of transferring responsibility to somebody else? Be honest with yourself.

Unless you have very specific dietary concerns (such as serious food intolerances or allergies, or specific medical issues), or you’re preparing to step onstage at a bodybuilding contest within a few weeks, it’s pretty unlikely that the question of “What to eat” needs the intervention of a nutritionist (who, by the way, will more than likely just hand you a printout of the Food Guide/Pyramid, and then try and sell you some outlandishly expensive supplements).

So, if it isn’t the “what” question that’s tripping you up, maybe it’s the “how”: How to make good nutrition fit into your time-strapped life.

----------

I'll go one step further.

It's not just about the "how". It's also about the "why".

Why are you doing this? What do you hope to accomplish? What is the meaning of what you are trying to do?

Here is another secret:

Your relationship with food mirrors your relationships in the rest of your life.

Think about your life as a whole.

Are you an anxious, rushed person? Then you will probably rush your meals.
Are you a person who craves immediate gratification? Then you will seek that in your food as well: a sugar high, a caffeine fix, a chocolate rush.
Are you someone who focuses exclusively on others' needs? Then you will neglect your own until your body gets its revenge by pushing you into the kitchen late at night, after the kids are asleep.
What are your core beliefs, values, and assumptions? Are you afraid of wasting things -- so you finish off your kids' plates? Are you afraid of disappointing people -- so you worry about how your eating looks in front of them, or eat certain ways in order to fit in? Are you afraid you aren't "good enough" to succeed, or afraid of what you might have to deal with if you do -- so you sabotage yourself?

Be aware of how seemingly "non food" elements in your life affect the "food" parts of your life. This includes:

the people around you
your own assumptions, priorities, values, and mindset about food and life in general
your daily habits that you do automatically
the structure of your daily routine
the physical layout of the space you live and work in
etc.

Nothing is inevitable. Anyone can change.

But change requires self-awareness and a sustained, holistic commitment to doing things differently.

JB likes to say that our goal is threefold. We want to eat:

the right things
at the right times
in the right quantities

I'd add one more:

for the right reasons

The food itself IS important. We are a collection of chemical processes occurring simultaneously. Nutrients have particular effects in our body. They can harm or heal us.

But the food itself is perhaps 10% of the equation.

The other 90% is the other domains of our existence: intellectual, emotional, spiritual, etc.

I came across an interesting study recently. Amenorrhea -- the cessation of menstruation -- can be caused by dietary restriction. This is common in over-dieting young women and female athletes.

But many other studies have shown that amenorrhea is also correlated with "cognitive dietary restraint". In other words, thinking and worrying about food. Even in women whose actual food intake was normal, CDR was correlated with amenorrhea.

That's right: regardless of the real food intake, their mindset and intellectual experience of food -- their food relationship -- affected their body.

I encourage you to listen to an interview I did with psychotherapist Erin Byron for a PN blog a while ago. I think it coincides nicely with this stage.
http://www.precisionnutrition.com/food-relationships

And here are my "final" mindset thoughts (which are really the beginning thoughts for the next phase):

If you want to make change, of course start with "new" foods. We all need to eat fruits and vegetables, lean protein, fish oil, cut out junk food, etc.

But don't stop there. Ask yourself:

What are your relationships with food like now?
What do you want them to be?
If food were a person, how are you interacting with it, and how would you like to interact with it in future?

If you want to make true, meaningful, sustainable, lasting change, you need new food relationships.

Here is how I responded:

What are your relationships with food like now?

My relationship with food has changed dramatically. I have found that I don't NEED to binge to feel satisfied. I can have the foods I crave IF I stop eating before I'm full. I will still enjoy myself.

I can identify foods that will trigger the binge reflex, though. For example, refined sugar sends my mind into a tail spin. I want more. I want to not stop. I can have maple syrup & honey without that problem. I had Kashi waffles with maple syrup this weekend without coming unglued. However, I also had that Almond Joy bar & found myself foraging in the cabinet for something more to eat 5 minutes after eating it. I DID NOT EAT! I recognized what had happened & got a mug of green tea instead!

What do you want them to be?

I want them to be right where they are only stronger. I want it to be second nature to eat well and not binge. I don't want to think about it.

If food were a person, how are you interacting with it, and how would you like to interact with it in future?

If food were a person I am holding it close. Controling it. Being obsessive. It's still a co-dependent, abusive relationship.

I would like the relationship to be loving. Where I love food but am not obsessed with it.

I think I'm getting there. I need to enforce the positive habits I've learned & soldier on!

WENDY: the workouts I’m doing this week call for hip thrusts on the ball. Guess who is doing hip thrusts with a 115 lbs…If you guessed me you would be right! I’ll be increasing my weights again next week. It’s making my glutes & hammies fire like crazy! LOVE IT!

Re-evaluating my goals

2011-01-17T07:51:00.002-05:00

I'm at the beginning of a new phase. It's a good place to be. For the first time in a very long time I don't hate my body. I still want to lose 8 lbs but I don't hate the way I look. The pictures are pretty cool. So there.

When I planned my meals for this week I didn't obsess about when I can have a cheat meal. I just did it. Almost mindlessly. I've learned to cook. I think that makes a huge difference.

So here we go...

I want to get down to 140 by March 15. That's 8 weeks away. It's do-able. I have 2 pairs of Gap khakis that I want to wear again. They almost fit.

I am ready to finish this & keep it off!

John has ANOTHER interview today. Will keep you posted.

DONE!

2011-01-15T08:16:00.005-05:00

Down 10 lbs, 9 inches, and 5 1/2% bodyfat (according to totally inaccurate caliper measurements).

This bikini is now going in the trash--it has dry rot in the elastic. lol

I'm having a love affair with my coffee & water this morning! With just 1 mug & 16 oz my body is feeling better already.

I feel really good about the progress but would still like to lose 8 lbs. I know it's just a number but it's MY number. I have 2 pairs of pants that I bought when I was at that number & I still can't wear them. I WILL!

1 cup of water

2011-01-14T12:07:00.001-05:00

I’m pretty sure my calories are around 1100. I haven’t really tracked them but 5 meals of 20 grams of protein & yesterday was 150 grams of starchy carbs today is 300 grams. Monday through Wednesday was no starch but green or white (zucchini or cucumbers) vegetables. I only had about 1/3 of the coffee I usually drink. We were given the green light to have coffee yesterday but not today. I have a screaming headache & my muscles ache. I’m super tired & having trouble concentrating on anything. I’m trying really hard not to be snappy.

I have decided to take Saturday & Sunday as recovery days & hit it again hard on Monday with the rotation diet Wendy laid out for me last year rather than a flat out carb rotation. It’s a low, a moderate, & a higher calorie day. It rotates not just the carb intake but also the protein intake. I’ve got my meal planner all set up so it’s going to be really easy to figure out my meals. I’m excited about eating sweet potatoes & butternut squash & brown rice & Ezekiel bread on a regular basis. Maybe I’m just looking forward to real meals after this week. LOL

I am going to cut out eating so much yogurt. I didn’t see or feel that much of a difference in my stomach this week but have found that I am so much more satisfied eating frittatas. Maybe I’ll eat yogurt as a mid-day snack rather than breakfast.

I can’t wait to get back in the gym. It’s only been 2 days but I miss the feel of the weights & the burn of my lungs when I’m pushing on the arc trainer.

1/2 gallon of water

2011-01-13T16:07:00.001-05:00

So I’m only drinking a ½ gallon of water today. I am eating protein & starchy carbs only. I’m savoring yams, butternut squash & acorn squash. We were told we can have 1 cup of coffee today but none tomorrow. I am feeling cranky! I want coffee!!!! I want more water! I’m soooo thirsty!

I was sore as hell from kickboxing with Erin & the workouts we did this week. Today & tomorrow we do nothing. I want to do cardio so bad I can’t stand it…to increase the fat loss. I have been absolutely perfect in my eating & have gained weight. I was holding steady at 148 and BAM this morning I’m up to 150 gain. I’m not freaking out because I figure it has to be 2 gallons of water sitting in my body. I wanted to do some cardio after my weight work yesterday but

I’m excited about taking the pictures. I swear I saw flashes of 6 pack yesterday. I’ve been spraying myself with some Coppertone spray tan. It’s stinky!

I am trying to decide what to have for my “reward meal” Saturday night. I’m thinking General Tso’s with the fried rice, pizza, a cheesesteak, or a good burger & fries. I can have a decent burger without a bun & fries anytime but that truly is one of my favorite meals. I feel pretty good that I can’t decide. That tells me I’m not really craving anything.

Interviews suck. It’s going to be a few weeks before we hear anything. Ugh.

2011-01-12T13:59:00.002-05:00

Today is the last day of filling up on water. Thank God! I'm having trouble getting in 2 full gallons. I'm literally putting hash marks on a piece of paper for each 2 liters I drink--that's the size of my Sweat once a day bottle. It is 2:00 PM & I still have 3 more to drink before I go to bed in 5 hours.

Surprisingly I am not getting up every 2 hours to pee at night.

My weight is steady at 158 which is kind of a bummer. I wanted to lose. Maybe it's water. Probably it is not.

I cannot believe how much I miss eating starch. I am not getting the brain fog that you all talk about. But that might be because I only eat 1 serving a day. I'm going to do a week of carb rotating ala LE next week: 1 low, 1 moderate, 1 low, 1 moderate, 1 low, 1 high. I want to see if that will help me jump start my losing again. I'm also going to start using a tracker to keep it "real." I want to make sure I'm not over-eating.

I am SO sore from these workouts. Of course it has been intensified by the kick boxing class I took with Erin last night. SO MUCH FUN! She can't keep up...I almost did. We laughed a lot at each other & on the way home. We're going to try to go once a month just to give us a night out together. I'm really proud of how my kid has grown up!

John feels like his interview yesterday went well. He will know in about a week if he will get a third interview with them. Seems like overkill to me for a mid-level job. I guess in this economy they can afford to be choosy. On the bright side, he is out for an interview right now. They called him this morning & scheduled the interview for this afternoon! It's another warehouse manager position. The company is about an hour from here but he won't have to deal with traffic so that's a plus. It's good that he is finally getting interviews.

I'm feeling a little better about things with the unemployment. It helps to know that as soon as his W-2 comes in I'll be able to finish our taxes & we'll have 2 more mortgage payments in the bank. I'll start to panic again next month I'm sure. LOL

2011-01-11T18:24:00.003-05:00

Depletion is going well...though I'm up 1/2 lb. I am feeling the workouts. I could do these workouts as part of a regular rotation & will put them away for later use.

I've started copying & saving the stuff I want to keep. I'm glad this is almost over. I get more support here than I did there. I have posted questions & not gotten answers for days where other, less experienced people post questions & get immediate answers. I'm also not one of the needy, whiners; we have several of them in our group. Krista spends a lot of time providing psychological counseling (I have to wonder if she isn't a life coach, too).

I do think I've learned a lot about food. Not so much from anything Krista said but from what others were posting & the recipes we've shared. I have learned to make nutritious, fabulous tasting foods. I'm have a satisfied palate & tummy!

I have been working on my "meal planner" again--the one I was working on based on the nutrition plan Wendy gave me. I've added things to it & am ready to begin the end of this weight loss journey. I'm excited about that.

I'm off to do a kickboxing class with Erin who is with us because of the snow storm that is so far a non-issue.

Observations on water manipulation

2011-01-10T18:17:00.002-05:00

Everything feels swollen & my stomach is sticking out like it did when I weighed 175. UGH! It's so gross. I know it's just the water because I tracked EVERYTHING that went into my mouth today -- including the 3 pieces of Dove Dark (stupid!). I've only had ~1400 calories.

It's freaking me out a little. But I know this works & I'll be okay. If I'm not Sandi & Laura will hear me screaming all the way out on the west coast.

Dairy, salt, water, coffee...

2011-01-09T12:37:00.004-05:00

Here's the initial lesson about what we are going to do...

Peak Week protocols

Starting today, we'll be guiding you through the daily steps you can take to put your best physique forward for the camera.

Along with last minute grooming touches, we'll also be providing you with a week of "advanced dieting days" based on a peaking protocol. And these days will likely be a bit more strict that you're used to. Again, we do these assignments to allow you to gain more experience in the world of physique alteration while learning more advanced nutritional strategies.

(Remember, this schedule assumes your photo shoot will take place a week from Saturday. But if you're planning for a different date, you can easily adjust your strategy by working backwards from your scheduled shoot.)

Before anxiety sets in, let's take a quick "peek" at the details.

Nutrition and Training

The main guidelines for this week are as follows:

	Carb Intake	Protein Intake	Fat Intake	Water	Diuretics	Salt	Exercise
SUN	veggies only -- no fruits, starches, or sugars	1 serving per meal	0.5 g per lb of BW	1 gallon (4L)	none	salt food	optional EEW
MON	veggies only -- no fruits, starches, or sugars	1 serving per meal	0.5 g per lb of BW	1 gallon (4L)	none	salt food	full body depletion workout
TUES	veggies only -- no fruits, starches, or sugars	1 serving per meal	0.5 g per lb of BW	1.5 - 2 gallons (6-8L)	none	salt food	full body depletion workout
WED	veggies only -- no fruits, starches, or sugars	1 serving per meal	0.5 g per lb of BW	1.5 - 2 gallons (6-8L)	none	limit salt	full body depletion workout
THURS	dry carbs (1g per lb BW) -- no veggies	1 serving per meal	no added fats	0.5 gallon (2L)	herbal (optional)	limit salt	OFF
FRI	dry carbs (2g per lb BW) -- no veggies	1 serving per meal	no added fats	1 cup; small sips	herbal (optional)	limit salt	OFF
SAT (before shoot)	dry carbs (2g per lb BW) -- no veggies	1 serving per meal	no added fats	1 cup; small sips	herbal (optional)	limit salt	OFF

Specifics:

Eat 5 meals per day.
A portion of protein equals ~ 20 g protein for women and 40 g protein for men.
Vegetable intake in the first 4 days of the protocol should focus on lower carb varieties like green vegetables.
"Dry carbs" are carbs with a low water content. Limit to rice cakes, sweet and white potatoes, or dried banana chips (oven-dried vs. deep-fried). Oatmeal, grains, fruits, and veggies do not work.
Calculate your total fat intake for the day based on the guidelines and then spread this evenly across 5 meals.
As water intake increases, adding lemon can help increase the palatability.
During the last 2 days your mouth will be dry. Using a water spritzer or chewing gum can help.
Herbal diuretics (like dandelion root) in the final days are optional. Your body will naturally flush out water on it's own, however these can help pull a little more water from under the skin.

NOTE: Water loading/depletion and use of diuretics is not safe for anyone using diuretics for blood pressure or who has a condition where manipulating water and salt is contra-indicated.

I asked the dairy question & was advised against it but told if it's gonna freak me out I could have it. I'll be using it in my coffee & the 1/4 cup cheese in my eggs because I didn't think about leaving it out when I cooked & well, I'm not throwing away food.

Depletion

2011-01-08T07:03:00.005-05:00

This is the final week of the Lean Eating program. They have us doing a depletion, if we want to. I'm doing it. I want to see what happens with my body. I'm 10-15 lbs heavier than I would be going into a competition but I've got a good bit of definition that might show more when depleted.

Here's the plan for Sunday-Wednesday.

Eat 5 meals over the course of the day.
Limit carb intake by avoiding all starches, sugars, and colourful fruits and veggies. [In other words, the only carbs you'll eat will be "green and white" veggies such as leafy greens, broccoli, cauliflower, asparagus, zucchini, celery, green beans etc.]
Eat 1 serving of lean protein per meal (equivalent to either 20g of protein for women or 40g of protein for men).
Include fats amounting to 0.5 g/lb of body weight (BW), divided amongst your meals. [Keep it simple: estimate your total fat intake for the day by dividing your body weight by two. Then just spread this amount out over the day.]
Drink 1 gallon (4L) of water [it's easiest to fill up a gallon jug and just sip from it all day until it's gone]. (I go up to 1.5 to 2 gallons on Tuesday)
Add the same or slightly more salt than usual to your food.

The workout includes 30-60 minutes of fasted cardio & a total body resistance workout.

They only give us two days out so I know that Monday I'll do this resistance workout:

(1a) Barbell bench press	4	8-10	:45
(1b) Bent-over barbell row	4	8-10	:45
(2a) Barbell overhead press	4	8-10	:45
(2b) Dumbbell Romanian deadlift	4	8-10	:45
(3a) Barbell curl	4	8-10	:45
(3b) Barbell triceps extension	4	8-10	:45
(4a) Kneeling rope cable crunch	4	8-10	:45
(4b) Standing calf raise	4	8-10	:45

I won't workout at all on Thursday-Saturday. I'll get to sleep in! lol

I'm a little nervous but think I can do this. I'm re-feed for Saturday & Sunday after I take my pictures & then going back on the program to lose these last 10 lbs. It's time to do it.

As for my workouts--I think I'm going to do one of the programs from PN. I'm leaning toward Krista Schaus' Next Level or John's Body Transformation. The Body Transformation program is VERY similar to the workouts I've been doing so I may go for the Next Level.

I've got all the tools. I am finally putting them to work. I've maintained my initial loss, now I need to finish it.

Came back to add:

So far here's what I've got--I will eat the same things over & over cuz it's easier to get a plan down...I need 75 grams of fat based on my bodyweight. I'll take 20 fish oil capsules to get me up to that fat level...4 per meal.

1 c Fage 0% yogurt to get to 20 grams of protein I have to eat a full cup & I only have fat free in the house so that's what I'm gonna eat. I don't know what kind of vegetable I'll eat...I'm leaning toward green beans.

3 egg whites/1 whole cooked fritata style with onions, mushrooms, & spinach w/1/4 c cheddar cheese--20 gram protein , 10 grams of fat

Large salad with olive oil vinegarette 1 tbsp evoo=13.5 grams of fat
Tuna (2.25 oz = 20 grams protein & 2 grams of fat)

Dinner will be a toss up because my husband will do the cooking.

It will include chicken, center-cut pork loin, ground turkey & a vegetable of some sort--a salad w/evoo will be added

When I get to the starch days I'll eat the same proteins & substitute vegetables for sweet potatoes, butternut & acorn squash.

If I stick to this plan I will probably drop a bunch of body fat...I wonder if I could do it for 2 weeks...

2010-12-30T13:45:00.002-05:00

Sandi's blog post made me think, I want pizza & wings!!!! I'm in the last 3 weeks of LE & seriously thinking of taking the weekend off (at least until Sunday) & tackling the carb cycling beginning on Monday. I didn't think I was ready but I think it's just that it's Christmas & New Years & I want to enjoy myself with foods I have been away from.

I've gained 3 lbs & don't care. I look good & my jeans are lose at a weight that they used to be tight at. I look really good.

For the first time EVER John noticed my muscles! Yay! That means they are real & not an illusion. lol

Legs

2010-12-29T09:31:00.000-05:00

Today was leg day…Supersets as follows:

Walking lunges 5 x 5 @ 20 lbs

Pistol squats 4 x5 no weight to make sure I got low

DB deadlifts 3 x 9 @ 35 lbs

Glute-ham reverse lift (see this link—can’t embed via email)

Bridge with the bar. I did 3 sets of 10, 45, 55, 65

BB squats 2 x 20 at 75 & 65 lbs

I finished up with a “weight loss” interval on the arc trainer for 30 minutes. My legs should be toasty tomorrow.

Snow

2010-12-27T14:40:00.002-05:00

We got about 8 inches. It took John & me 45 minutes to dig out the front & our neighbor's driveway. Nice workout.

I've been sitting here reading & sleeping & playing farmville. I'm bored.

Battle damage

2010-12-25T21:18:00.004-05:00

I did this workout yesterday. This morning I have matching bruises on my hips from banging them on the concrete floor of my basement. I have to remember to do this one on carpeting next time.I love that I have battle damage from doing a workout!

We're expecting snow tomorrow. I expect to shovel snow & use my old step to drag John around the yard for cardio. Can't wait!

regrets & depression

2010-12-23T10:57:00.000-05:00

Ron just called me & told me the company that he sent John’s resume to hired someone else. They wanted their own guy. Ron is really disappointed & was all kind of apologetic. I told him I was starting to suspect John wasn’t going to get the job because it was taking too long. Ron is a really great guy & I love him for trying for us.

I’m really having a tough time with this situation. I knew when we talked about him taking that job in Annapolis that it was a mistake but I didn’t voice it. I told him that I would support his decision & I did. I should have spoken up & told him my true feelings on the situation. We would have been better off—at least he would be collecting unemployment. Could’a; should’a; would’a.

I’m really struggling. I know that this means that God has something better planned but HE needs to get off the pot already. I am really starting to be depressed. I’m struggling with not eating my depression. I want to binge so bad. I am determined to not have that happen but it’s literally a minute by minute conversation in my head lately.

I talked to John about it yesterday. Unfortunately all it did was upset him, too. He thought I was doing okay with this. I am not. I really, really am not. I’m angry. I’m resentful. I am regretful. I hate where I am right now.

interesting occurrences

2010-12-22T11:11:00.000-05:00

First the mundane…

I’m down to 146! Hope to stay there through Christmas but am anticipating it being difficult. My father does this huge meal that has all of my favorites…BREAD, different Italian sausages. Wine. Cheese. Prime Rib. Smashed potatoes! Candied yams. Burp. Going to try very hard to enjoy myself without OVER indulging.

Do people eat vegetables anymore? Our lunch at the office yesterday consisted of meat (turkey, ham, pulled pork, & kilbasa), chips & dip, rice, potato & pasta salads, & desserts. Oh, greenbean casserole--which I refuse to call a vegetable. There was no salad, no asparagus, no beans, no broccoli, no cauliflower. Guess what I'll be bringing to the next pot luck?! I brought plates & napkins this time. Dumb!

FORTUNATELY! I knew it was going to be ugly & packed my cooler despite the gathering. I had my own little containers of veggies. I ate very small servings of pork, turkey & ham & greenbean casserole to keep people from freaking...because they were making fun of me in the morning as we were setting up. I take it all in stride don't rebutt & laugh right along with them. They know how I value my nutrition & kid me but are really jealous of my fantastic physique! Lol

Today's workout was fun. I found a piece of equipment that I was able to get my feet under for the face-plants; I mean, ham/glute raise/negatives. That takes A LOT of strength & left a fabulous pump in my hammies. Love them. I finished up with what was meant to be intervals on the cross-trainer but turned into 30 minutes of steady-state. I didn't set the machine up correctly & just went at it steady-state. Kind of frustrating but at least I got my HR up to 140 on average.

The LE lesson today sort of makes me laugh...Despite working for the military most of the people around me are TOTALLY unfit. Even most of the gym rats are so out of shape it isn't funny & I’m not talking to the muscleheads. These are people that believe the only way to lose weight is to run. Run far. Run fast. I actually had someone ask me how often I run because of the changes in my shape...ummm....NEVER! Okay, I do some tabata intervals occassionally on the treadmill but that's rare. I literally know no one that I would say is fitter than me or take advice from. Not even in the gym. So read the lesson, get the spirit of the intent but am passing on this one.

So here’s interesting occurrence #1.

About a month ago 4 of my cousins “friended” this woman on facebook & she sent me a request. I asked them who she is because her maiden name is my maternal Grandparents’ name. They all responded that they think she’s a cousin from our Tennessee family. Okay, confirmed.

John is working on our genealogy. He has traced my maternal grandfather’s family all the way back to Ireland in the 1600s, to the U.S. through Plymouth Colony. Pretty damn cool. I asked him to “place” this woman on our family tree…Who is she? How is she related? Etc… He can’t find a thing.

She is very lonely & a little different. I’ve asked her about our relationship to each other. She doesn’t know her father’s real name just that her mother called him “Butch,” & his last name is Kelsey. I asked her what her birth certificate doesn’t have his name on it. Further conversation revealed that she found my grandfather and friended him & then started friending everyone with the same last name. HOLY SHIT! She’s a stalker! John is doing specific research on her today.

Interesting occurrence #2:

Back in high school I was BFFs with Allison. We met in 9^th grade & stayed friends all through high school. When we were 19 we moved in together in a condo in Miami. The rent was dirt cheap--$600/month for a 3 bedroom on a lake. Utilities were something like $75/month! We decided to cut our costs further by getting a 3^rd roommate. Allison worked with a girl that needed a place to live. We let her move in.

Being young & ignorant I didn’t even ask this girl’s last name. I figured Allison knew her & it would be cool. WRONG! This girl wouldn’t pay the power bill or the phone bill. Our landlord was my father’s best friend. He was at the condo painting when this went down. He threw this girls stuff out into the street. I told him that I didn’t think that was a good idea because she had a key. He said he would handle her. Off to work I went.

When I got home that night the condo was trashed. I called the cops & my father’s friend. It was a mess. When we started putting the pieces together for the cops I came unglued with Allison because she brought this girl in. It was a terrible falling out & we had not spoken since.

That was 1983.

Fast forward to September 2010…We have facebook. I was bored one day & started looking at my high school FB page & saw Alli. I sent her a message & a friend request. My message said,

“It’s been more than 25 years. I’ve wondered about you since our friendship ended because of the terrible way I treated you & I’m so sorry! Hope you would like to get back in touch.”

She responded in less than a day that she would love to get back & touch. We have been in touch & catching up. It’s been very cool to get back in touch. She’s exactly the way I remember her—including the bangs she used to wear. LOL

If I don’t get back here, have yourself a very merry!

Here's me is!

2010-12-18T14:46:00.006-05:00

I'm down to 146 & have lost a total of 7 inches, though I'm not quite sure my measurements are all that accurate because my hips are up & down like you wouldn't believe.

The most dramatic difference is in my abs & hips. Next month I'll invest in some tanner for the final shots.

If I ever get up to 160 again somebody needs to shoot me! That is just U.G.L.Y.

2010-12-17T10:12:00.000-05:00

It was a brutal ride home last night. We had less than a measurable amount of snow but the idiots at DoT didn’t heed the warning & treat the roads so they were a sheet of ice by 4:00. I left my office at 10 minutes until 4 but didn’t get home until after 7:15. I was exhausted, hungry & had to pee!

I have been kicking my eats into high gear. Wendy, I eat the way you described in your blog—4 or 5 times a day but work out fasted (because LE says it’s okay). My day is a little screwy like yours so I just eat when I can but find that eating 4 or 5 meals is just easier & I’m losing yet maintaining muscle.

I have been kicking my workouts up a notch & believe that’s making a big difference in my weight…which is down 1 ½ lbs today; though tomorrow is the official weigh & photos. I hope I can capture the definition without tanning…If not, next month I will be tanning for the “final showing.” I’m not doing the professional route they recommend because I am not spending that kind of money for photos no one will see.

I have decided that I’m not going to continue on. It’s just not something I need. I have all the tools & support I need.

I’m finally getting more responsibilities at the office! I’ve begged & begged & decided to just start taking over. lol I’m now responsible for all of our computer equipment & the travel program (making sure the guys have all of their orders & credit card stuff). I’m still not busy but I think given time & taking over more programs I will get there.

short post

2010-12-16T19:54:00.001-05:00

I'm tired from my ugly drive home...will email a post in from work tomorrow but this was too important not to tell you RIGHT NOW...

I'm still weighing in at 147-149 but tonight when I took my sweater off & had my hands raised over my head, I caught my reflection in my bedroom mirror. I SAW ABS!!! I MEAN REALLY SAW ABS! So, okay, it was probably a hallucination because I'm so tired but I swear I saw them!!!

2010-12-14T10:50:00.001-05:00

I’m in the last 5 weeks of the Lean Eating Program & am trying to decide if I want to continue on or just go it alone. I know what I need to do & have you all for support if I start blogging again. I have tons of well put-together workout plans at my disposal. I just need to dial in my eating & lose this last 7 lbs. I’m right there.

There is one woman on the program that I have felt a connection with since day 1. She’s a lot like me in that she was already in okay shape when we started but needed some guidance. The program is starting to wear on her in that it doesn’t feel normal. That’s where I am. Sandi

My friend, Ron, from the clinic hopes to hire John for a contract position they have open. He would be the maintenance supervisor over 3 guys. His resume was submitted to the company with an email that said Ron thinks this would be the best course of action for both the clinic & the contracting company. Hopefully Ron has enough clout with the company to get him hired. It’s just been 4 work days since the resume was submitted but I’m starting to get anxious about it.

My anxiety levels are starting to get high. Very high. We’re 3 weeks away from dropping the price of the house. I can’t wait. I’ve started losing sleep over it. Really. I wake up in the night & my mind races…What are we going to do? How are we going to survive? It scares the shit out of me. I am ready to cry at the drop of a dime & am extremely edgy. I find myself barking at John for stupid shit that really has nothing to do with anything. I have to pull it together.

2010-12-05T01:15:00.002-05:00

John isn't going to get unemployment. Eh. I don't know if he'll appeal or not.

It's been nearly 2 months since anyone has looked at the house. I know it's the season but still it's frustrating. I want to move.

Our trip was really nice. I'm tired of doing it in 4 days though. I think I'm sending John by himself next time. I just hate the running around & his father's apartment is very small & uncomfortable. There is only 1 comfortable chair & then the dinette set. We spent 4 hours there on Thursday. My ass was killing me by the time we left.

I love going to the Cape because when it's just sitting around the house time it's good. It's quiet & it's relaxing. It's dealing with having to go see John's father that wears on me. I can't understand half of what his father says because he slurs his speech; either due to laziness, his French accent, bad dentures or a combination of all 3. I don't know but it doesn't make for pleasant conversation.

Since we got him sober he doesn't hit anymore but he does try to stir up a fight at least twice per visit. This trip it was all about talking about "(our) friend, that black president that got elected." He's such a racist pig. He doesn't know half of what he tries to talk about politically & gets pissed if we try to correct him. Our course of action is to stay on our toes & redirect the conversation to less controversial subjects. It's a pain in the ass.

He's 89-years-old. He has a really hard time moving around now because of pain. They have him on some sort of pain killer that is escaping me but it's not supposed to be addictive. I don't know how much he's supposed to take but he told us yesterday that he took a double dose & felt weird after taking it but that he survived so now he'll take a double dose all the time. Great. Over-dose. Just what we need.

Anyway...

I ate entirely too much fried food--clam strips & French fries. I ate entirely too much clam chowder. I'm bloated & feel greasy today. I can't wait to start eating clean again. lol I didn't drink enough water either. Ugh. I didn't workout at all. Not even a little bit. I'll go back to the gym on Monday & hit it hard.

2010-12-01T06:07:00.003-05:00

Hello ladies!

I have my annual GYN appt this morning but guess who's favorite aunt decided to show up a week early. I'm going in to the office but anticipate being rescheduled. What a pain in the ass.

There is absolutely nothing exciting (or not) going on in my life right now. The house isn't showing. We're doing okay financially. I'm finished Christmas shopping & for 7 kids & our respective parents only spent $300! We did spend almost that on Erin alone. John & I are not exchanging gifts this year. His staying home is gift enough.

We're off to the Cape this afternoon. Have a great week everyone!

Turkey day

2010-11-25T06:20:00.002-05:00

I am 7 3/4 lbs from my low goal!

This month's workouts are all circuits. I've been doing intervals on the different equipment & crazy amounts of squat thrusts. Today is a rest day.

I don't remember if I told you but I applied for the contract specialist position again & have again been referred. I'm waiting to see if I'll get an interview. I'm in a peaceful place about it. If I get the interview & a job offer I'll take it & obviously be very happy. If I don't, eh, I'm not all that concerned.

We got a weird phone call from our agent this week. We haven't heard from him in more than a month & haven't seen him since he came to take the internet photos--September. He called John to ask him if we had his portfolio. What the hell? How long has his portfolio been missing? Oh just a day or two. WTF? John didn't dig into it with him the way I would have. I would have asked him if I really want him to be my agent if he can't remember that he hasn't talked to us since mid-October.

Erin & Greg are coming for dessert this afternoon. We are alone today. It's going to be a strange day. We haven't been alone for Thanksgiving EVER! We've always had someone from work or gone to see family. But it's also going to be an easy day...Just a few dishes to cook--nothing crazy like it would be if we had to deal with going somewhere or having company. YAY!

I'll have to remember to take pictures of Belle (the puppy) with the big dogs & post pictures.

I'm back

2010-11-21T13:53:00.003-05:00

In a sense I have been gone & you just didn't know it. But I'm back. I had a good talk with an old friend today & it was just the attitude adjustment I needed. That & the email those of us from MUM received from Tracy last week.

Tracy--if you are out there, thank you. I needed to hear from you more than you know. Your timing was perfect.

So here's to being back. My blog will now take on the old attitude & intimacy it used to contain.

My workouts & nutrition are doing better. I have decided to stick it out with LE. It is doing me more good than I realized. As an example, last night we went to a progressive dinner where everyone was stuffing themselves with chips & tortillas & desserts. I was able to eat everything but did not gorge. I was able to think about what I was eating without guilt. That's the first time that I can remember ever really doing that. If not for the LE program I probably never would have gotten out the GN cookbook & tried those recipes. I would have continued to deprive myself of good tasting yet healthy meals.

Wendy, I didn't want to do any supplements. I wanted to eat real foods. I don't use protein powders or shakes at all anymore. I have a "fear" of those things. It's not based on any knowledge of anything; it's just me. However, they relaxed that requirement. So long as we eat within an hour of a workout we're in compliance. I eat as soon as I can after I shower & get dressed.

I am down 9 lbs since starting the program & have lost 6" total. I'm not sure about the caliper measurements but according to them I'm down 3%. I'm pleased with how I look--see the Oct 23 pics. They haven't changed from a month ago. I don't think, anyway. I am seeing more definition in my shoulders. I wish I could get a really good picture for you. I have pretty delts! lol

Okay...enough of that.

John has been home for 2 weeks now. It's really nice to come home & have a cup of decaf & dinner waiting for me. He's keeping the house clean & getting all sorts of things done to make the house more presentable should it ever show again. I am able to relax a little.

Money is tight but we're making the mortgage payment for now. We thought about letting it go to strategic foreclosure but the penalties of that are higher than we're willing to pay. You can't buy another home for 7 years. We want to buy a house again. Don't really know why but we do. Rolling my eyes.

We thought John was going to get unemployment because Maryland sent him a letter telling us how much he would get & asking for tax paperwork. A week later he got a letter saying he had a telephone interview...He did that last Monday & we haven't heard a thing since. No check. No denial letter. It's a little frustrating not knowing but on the other hand we weren't counting on it so...If we get it we'll be okay through April with the mortgage. If we don't we are okay through February. We're going to drop the price of the house in January in hopes that we will sell & get out. Whatever happens happens.

waffle

2010-11-13T07:10:00.002-05:00

I don't know what I'm doing...John thinks I need to finish what I've started. I agree to an extent. I probably will.

In case you didn't see my facebook post yesterday...

100 burpees took just under 20 minutes. By the last 20 I was no longer bouncing up but was climbing to stand. I didn't use a chair but sure was wishing I was. lol I think I'm going to attempt this again next week.

Today I think I'll just do a bodyrock.tv workout. Eh.

Considering leaving LE

2010-11-08T08:19:00.004-05:00

I'm conflicted. Mostly for financial reasons. John is going to collect unemployment but it's not enough for us to live the way we have been & I'm having a really hard time justifying the expense (even though I have put it aside). I keep thinking that I can use that money to buy other things or pay for a visit to Cape Cod--remember we stay for free.

I'm not crazy about the program as a whole. The other day I was thinking about staying on because of the support of the network but even that isn't really what I want/need. The women that are there all have significant emotional issues compared to mine...Lack of spousal/familial support. I have that. I don't need a bunch of strangers telling me that I am doing well. I know that I am.

And then...to be perfectly honest...Krista completely pissed me off yesterday. I had the audacity to wonder about the end on the forum:

I'm starting to think about The End. I'm wondering, "What next?" I think I'll be at my goal by January 15th. That leaves 2 weeks of wrapping up for maintenance. So, if I decided to stay on as an Alum, will I be doing the same "beginner" lessons or will there be something different for me (us?). I think I'll need the guidance to get maintenance under control. I'm getting good at fat loss. I've been doing it long enough. Snort But what about maintenance? I know I'm not so good at that...Weight regain of 20 lbs last year is evidence of that. I'm going to need help learning to keep it off.

I know we'll get more info in the future but these are the thoughts that are starting to hit.

One thing that is going through my head that I'm absolutely thrilled about is that we are going through Thanksgiving & Christmas with this program. I think that's going to go a long way to helping us learn how to keep it off during the holidays.

The response from Krista:

Don't "wonder and worry" about the future. Stay focused on what you are DOING, RIGHT NOW.

Did I say I was worried? WTF? These are the types of responses I get from her whenever I post any wondering questions...Um, isn't it human nature to wonder? To be curious?

I don't have the "I don't know why I eat the way I do issues," that 98% of these women have. I know why I eat. I'm pretty self-aware. In fact, last night I was so pissed off that I went out & bought ice cream. Why? Because I'd show them I don't need them telling me how to eat. Eh. Whatever.

I know it's about compliance & I know I can do it with the program I got from Wendy last year or with the program I got from Cathy Savage or from Leigh Peele. I just need to stop over-eating.

I was thinking about sticking it out to get those last 2 workouts & to see if I even made it into the Top 20 for the BIG PRIZE MONEY. I have decided that the prize money isn't an issue. Also, because I won't be compliant with the BCAA habit that is now required (& I won't lie about it), I know it's not going to happen. lol I do admit that I have learned some great eating strategies but I'm not sure I'm willing to stick it out at this point. I'm conflicted.

But those workouts...I wanted those. I really like them. Then I realized that I have access to the members' only stuff & have already downloaded all of that. I have a ton of really well-planned workouts from multiple sources. As much as I would like them (hint, hint, Sandi, would you be willing to share?) I don't think I'm going to pay the $200/month for them.

I don't know...I'm sooo conflicted. John has said I should stick it out but I'm just not feeling it.

On a different topic--do you have problems with your clothes getting stinky or are you able to wash them immediately after wearing them? I am going to have to buy all new sports bras & tanks. My stuff is starting to get really ripe. I was using Fabreeze as fabric softener but it's not working anymore. I started using a sports laundry detergent but that's only making them smell flower-y & stinky. HELP!

2010-11-06T07:01:00.002-04:00

We are celebrating this morning! Celebrating that the state of Maryland has granted John unemployment! It's not as much as the state of NJ would pay (which seems odd to me) but we'll take whatever they want to give us. This will allow us to pay our mortgage through the month of April if we haven't sold by then. If we haven't sold by then it won't be because the house isn't priced right. There are now a house in the neighborhood priced higher & we don't think it's as nice as ours. What' s up with that 2nd kitchen?

Phew that was all over the place, wasn't it? lol

The LE program is finally starting to get into customization. I'm doing well & think I might stay on for a couple of months past February 1. My thinking is that I'll need guidance to move into maintenance to keep the weight off. I'm okay (not good but okay) at losing weight. Not so good at keeping it off. We'll see. I have to find out how they handle folks like me. I'm not sure I want to pay $100/month to be treated the same as someone that is just starting out.

2010-10-23T09:55:00.004-04:00

Can't be bothered with picasa right now so...Here is August 7 compared to today as best as I can in blogger...If you can't tell the ones on the bottom are from August. God, I hope you can tell.

I don't know why my eyes are closed in the frontal shot. lol

There is a huge difference in my abs.

I'm down 4.5 lbs from the start of the program but the change is size is making me happy.

my little drama filled life

2010-10-20T15:54:00.000-04:00

Hi Stacey! Our stay-cation was awesome; very restful! We got a lot done around the house & made some difficult, major life decisions. John is going to leave his job effective 29 Oct. We cannot continue to live the way we’ve been living & he is starting to deal with some health issues (& looking old as hell!). The health issues are minor but we do not want him to get really sick or falling asleep at the wheel of his car & ending up dead.

Here’s the hardest part of this. We cannot afford to live on my income alone. We are going to pay what we can & talk to the bank about the programs that are available to help those of us that owe more than our house is worth but can’t make our payments (short sale maybe). Until we are late on payments they will not even talk to us. We did not make this decision lightly. We have been losing sleep over it for weeks. We have discussed it with my parents & Erin & our pastor. The only person that doesn’t get it is Erin because this goes against EVERYTHING that we have raised her to believe about finances & responsibilities. She is trying hard to understand but…it’s very hard for her.

The good thing about the timing of this is that we are entering the holiday season so we are hopeful that John will get a job to bring in a little money. We know that he would potentially work nights & weekends but he won’t be spending 5 hours in the car. That’s the goal here.

There is potentially another couple of good things…Despite his resignation his corporate office believes they will be able to pay unemployment—he has to file a claim & allow the state to make the inquiry. We’ll see. We aren’t holding our breath but will take it if he can get it. They have also offered to use him as a consultant. If they call him he will get paid & they will reimburse travel, lodging & meal expenses.

It makes me really sad but the house is only collateral damage of the economy. We went through the emails he sent out over the last 18 months. He has applied for more than 1000 jobs & had 1 interview. The recession was over in June my ass.

Workouts are going well & I’m steadily (slowly) losing weight. I didn’t stick 100% to program while on stay-cation but only gained 1 lb back & that must have been water because it’s gone today (just 3 days later) & it’s TTOM. Yay! I am starting to have pretty arms—last year when I got down to 145 I didn’t have pretty arms like I have now. I don’t have any sunless tanner or else I would slather it on for my monthly progress pics on Saturday. Hopefully the definition I’m seeing will show. My pants are loser & I’m back in my size 8s. I have only lost 3 lbs since starting the program but 10 since July. Yay! I want to lose 10 more. I’m working really hard to do that before the end of the program at the end of January. I hope to do it before Christmas so that I get 1 month of maintenance before the program is over & I can’t do it anymore. I’ll post pictures & stats over the weekend.

Sandi—in case you are reading I read your latest novella from my iPhone but didn’t respond (and am now posting via email). It sounds like you had a good time on your vacation. I’m curious about your deeper thoughts on his taking “just anyone” (my words) home for Thanksgiving.

Hope the rest of you are well.

thank you

2010-10-15T17:20:00.005-04:00

I appreciate your input & thoughts. I understand exactly what you are saying. I want to say more. I won't. It won't do anyone any good; it's my hang-up not yours, & I am not setting out to corrupt your relationship with her.

I do wish Marie the best & don't want her to stay away from your blogs--was actually relieved when I saw her posting responses shortly after I told her I blocked her. Just because she & I don't read each others blogs (we never really spoke outside of the blogs) doesn't mean I think she should stay away; I honestly wish she wouldn't. I wouldn't say or do anything to make her feel uncomfortable. I just don't want her reading mine. Maybe I should have just ignored her. Whatever. It's done.

That said, Laura, don't get hung up on your lack of participation on facebook. I'm a farmville junkie & that's the main reason I'm there but I also communicate with my niece, nephew, bazillion cousins & acquaintances from work. I'm not even sure Gil, Kimmie, or Tracy is even there. Kimmie deleted her account a long time ago & I just found that Tracy & I aren't even friends there (because you mentioned her). Wendy & I rarely communicate there.

But enough of that shit...

Here's the latest LE learning...While they say don't each starches outside of the 3 hour window post-workout JB does include most starchy vegetables as JUST THAT vegetables. A sweet potato is not a starch but a vegetable according to last Monday's lesson:

Adding in vegetables and fruits to reach a MINIMUM of six veggie/fruit servings each day is a tremendous goal. If you are getting less than six servings each day, a nutritional deficiency is almost assured. To keep overall intake in check, aim for a bit more veggies than fruits.

A serving is basically what you can fit in the cup of your hand. To be more specific, a serving equals:

½ cup of fruit
1 medium piece of fruit
¾ cup (6 ounces) of 100% vegetable juice
1 cup of leafy vegetables
½ cup of cooked or raw vegetables

Some real life examples:

1 medium banana
6 strawberries
2 plums
15 grapes
1 medium apple
1 peach
5 broccoli florets
10 baby carrots
1 roma tomato
¾ cup veggie juice
half of a sweet potato
4 slices of an onion

I sort of like this.

workouts...I've been doing mostly functional workouts since I've been off. Today was the first time I did any type of upper body stuff & that was just squat thrusts, plank jacks, & mountain climbers. I can't wait to get back to the gym.

Ease of conversation

2010-10-13T03:00:00.003-04:00

Wendy posted that she is mourning the ease with which we used to have communication. My initial response was that I wanted more detail; an explanation. What is she referring to? Then I wondered if this has to do with my falling out with Marie & since it's never been discussed...This is what I've been thinking...

Maybe I didn't handle the situation with Marie the way some of you might have. There were things going on in my head that I didn't post about because I didn't feel the need to get into it. What I will say is that I wasn't comfortable with her for a while & blew her off when I had the chance.

If I had discussed it with you first would it have changed anything? If I had told you, privately, that I had issues with some of what was being said on her blog, her attitude, or her responses to me would that have been better? For what it's worth, I never deleted any comments she made despite her contention that I did & I never blocked her from my blog until she sent me the last few messages. If I had just stopped reading her blog & ignored her, I don't think it would have stopped. As I said back then, that wasn't the first time she irritated me & I was sure it wouldn't be the last if I didn't put an end to it.

It was never my intention to have her stop coming around to your blogs. For a while she was still there. She is a part of your circle. I just don't want her as part of mine.

I want to open a dialogue...Tell me your thoughts. If you want to blast me for it...Feel free. There is no reason that any of you should hold back.

Anyway...I'm sorry if my riff with Marie has caused the rest of the group pain. I hope this will help ease some of that.

Hmmm, what to say...

2010-10-09T12:44:00.003-04:00

I haven't been very chatty lately, have I? Nope. I just haven't had much to say. So here's a recap of the week...

We are on a stay-cation this week. Getting things done around the house, being lazy (with the exception of doing cardio) & doing some fun things around town.

I sat in a classroom for 2 1/2 days last week. Unable to eat at any scheduled time as I have grown accustomed to. I ate when I could. I had DD multigrain bagels toasted, no spread on all 3 mornings. YUM!

On Thursday I hurt my back doing lumberjack squats.I was doing 85 lbs (45 & 10 lb plates). I think I may have gotten sloppy with my form because I wasn't feeling "it" when I felt like someone had slammed a baseball bat across the mid-section of my back. I was able to walk away but when I tried to put my plates away couldn't. The pain resolved relatively quickly...I'm perfectly fine today.

I'm not lifting anything until I go back to work. I think that will give my back plenty of time to heal. I will do functional fun workouts that don't include too much upper-body stuff. Today I did a 36 minute, 1-to-1 interval run. I was surprised by how hard it was.

I've lost 1/2 lb this week. My measurements haven't changed much. I'm losing the fat in my abs & lower thighs. It's very visibly gone from those places. I imagine that at some point in time my measurements will suddenly just drop. I'm starting to have very defined arms. Okay, maybe not VERY defined but definitely visible definition. It's pretty.

I'm not all that convinced that the reason for the changes in my body are due to the LEP. I am pretty convinced that it's diligence in working out consistently for the last year & cleaning up my eating. Period. I am going through the LEP motions. I'll continue to go through it in the hope that as I progress I will be glad I did.

Segue:

Our house has only shown once since we listed. One of the 5 other homes on the market has been taken off. It hasn't sold that we can tell--no moving trucks & the boys that live there still hang out with the other boys in the neighborhood. Our house is now priced $5k higher than anything else in the neighborhood.

A friend of mine, Ron, from the clinic took John's resume. There is a position that will open in the next couple of weeks. Ron is the hiring authority for the position & because it's what the government calls a contracted position doesn't have to go through all the steps of a civil service position. There is a strong possibility that John will get the job. No guarantee but a possibility. It will pay considerably less than what John is making now but we'll be okay financially. The reduction in salary will make us eligible to reduce our mortgage rate so we won't have to sell right away.

I'm dog sitting my mother's dog this week. The poor little girl is so afraid of Romeo it isn't funny. Romeo thinks she's a squeaky toy. Its fun but also a little sad to watch. Chanel weighs a whopping 5 lbs to Romeo's 60. We do watch when he's trying to bat her around & when we go out they will all be crated; separately.

It's day 1 of our stay-cation & I'm bored already. lol

2010-10-02T07:11:00.002-04:00

I've scored a 1 lb loss this week. Woot woot! I'm really pleased with that. I hope to make it through the weekend unscathed but it's my mother's 65 birthday so...The wine will flow & the food will be served. Fortunately we're going out so I will be able to put together a decent meal & bring home a doggie bag.

I have training 3 days this week so I'm going to have trouble with food. I'm getting some string cheese & will pack that & apples & yogurt snacks for my middle of the morning/afternoon meals. I have to buy a case of water so I can bring bottled water. I've been using a Brita filter system in my office.

The new workouts are going well. I did 75 lb bb chest presses yesterday! WOOT WOOT! I also did 2 chin-ups unassisted!

It's cold!!!!!

2010-09-30T12:16:00.000-04:00

As much as I’m paying for this program you would absolutely think I would be getting more individualization. What I do get is an email once a month telling me that my attitude is great & that I’m working hard & an occasional post to my forum journal. But, no, not really any personal input. Here’s the email I got yesterday…

“I’m reviewing the 2 month progress reports and I am so pleased to so you doing so nicely and making a lot of changes in your thinking and habits. I know you feel like you haven’t been progressing as fast as you would like, but you’re working incredibly hard. This next habit will, I think, start to create some movement for you.”

The next habit is eat until 80% full. Um, how are you supposed to do that when restricting calories. Whatever.

I know Sandi really enjoyed the program. I really wanted to. But I’m getting really pissed that I’m paying all this money & not really learning much. Today’s lesson is to make a healthy pizza & tomorrow’s is to watch a movie; Super Size Me, King Corn, or Pumping Iron I & II. Seriously? That’s all fine & good for newbies but um, I’m a little beyond that. For the newbies the program (& it appears that a lot of the ladies on my forum are) they have only JUST talked about portion sizes but do not mention weighing & measuring. The big take away was to use smaller plates.

I will say that I love the workouts (& need to send the latest to you) but then I love to workout. I love anything that makes me sweat. I’m already thinking that I should go back & re-read Leah Peele’s stuff & do her program. Or The New Rules or some other tough workout. I am finally seeing some very cool changes in my arms. But that probably would be happening anyway since I’ve been working hard for a year now. I didn’t hit it this hard until Sandi & I went to see Wendy.

I know what I need to do for dieting/nutrition. It’s all in my head. I just need to use it. I’m using LiveStrong & tracking everything I eat & am HUNGRY but I know I have to be hungry to lose weight. I’m a little worried that I’m not losing faster because I’m eating an average of 1500 calories; yesterday was only ~1200. My profile is public…debgetsfit. I might be eating too much fat (cuz I’m eating turkey bacon & some nuts in the evening!) but mostly not.

If I had to say what my big take away is right now – it will be how to make nutritious stuff taste delicious. The cookbooks are awesome.

As a side note…my email is doing weird shit. I’m sure it’s the freaking DoD security but whatever. If there are weird repeats & skips & shit I’ll fix it when I get home.

Thoughts on PN from a LE participant

2010-09-28T16:18:00.001-04:00

For Wendy…

The PN program is not much different than anything you don’t already provide your clients (or at least what you provided for me). Nutrition guidance. I was having trouble losing weight & what’s the first thing Krista told me to do…sign up for FitDay.com. Seriously? That’s the answer—track calories. I expected that there was going to be more magic to the answer than that.

The big thing that I’m getting is the daily lessons – which I have been printing out & saving. I am willing to scan them & share them. Some of the information is really, really, really for brand-new, baby dieters. Other stuff is more for people like me…been at it a long time & just didn’t get it before & oh, hey, by the way, try thinking about it another way.

The other biggie for me was breaking out the GN cookbook & learning some nutritious & (mostly) delicious recipes. Some are bland but most are not. Eating from those recipes almost exclusively has broadened my “diet” base. I’m eating foods that taste good instead of plain chicken breast, turkey breast, eggs, salads & yogurt. I know that was my own fault for not knowing how to cook other than fatty foods but still…but it’s part of what’s working for LE/PN for me. I am also eating more fat than I did before & I am losing. Slowly. You could probably give your clients a meal plan & some recipes that would help them be compliant. I’m sure between Sandi, me, the other girls we could give you plenty of healthy recipes to use.

When I think about it—that’s the BIGGEST thing that is working for me. Eating yum nommy foods.

Mostly PN is about losing S.L.O.W.L.Y. Sandi’s 15 lbs in 8 (?) months is more what they advocate. JB needs to be more up front about that when advertising his program I think. Just my opinion. Nearly everyone in the current LE group is getting pissed that they aren’t losing a min of 1 lb a week. And oh, we’re 8 ½ weeks into the program & no one has lost more than 2 lbs TOTAL! I think the “contest” pictures give a false sense of what the program is really going to do for a person—it did for me & if I had to judge by the mood of the forum…a lot of others feel the same. There are more & more people threatening to quit-though I don’t know that anyone has yet. I’m sticking it out to the bitter end & following the rules.

Oh & they say the programs sell out within hours of the pre-sale starting. Bull shit. They didn’t close the sign up for 3 days after the full sale started. How do I know? Because they opened the forum to allow us to chat immediately. I think you should ask for referrals from the program & ask questions before signing up—ask for people that have done the program & are using it with a client base.

Don’t get me wrong—I think the program works but if you have to make a decision about this today I wanted to share my thoughts. If you don’t get in this round, it’ll start again in 6 months & you might be in a better position financially.

Also FWIW, here in NJ any gym that I’ve researched that offers Les Mills or Zumba (with the exception of the base) charges extra for those classes. It thought that was standard. Shrug.

For the record—I did not sign anything that said I wouldn’t share. Obviously JB wouldn’t want me to publish his stuff but I’m not doing that.

I’m out of time at work. If I think of anything else I’ll add it when I get home. Maybe Sandi will see this & add to it.